A person’s upbringing is a very valuable trait that is worth paying attention to and developing in yourself.

What is education? This is tactfulness - the ability to perceive other people positively and be polite to them. Good manners also concerns the ability to protect the feelings of others in difficult situations - that is, criticize less, touch less on the painful memories of other people, put less pressure and lecture.

A well-mannered person knows how to behave well in difficult situations because he is always restrained. I consider him a well-mannered person

Your Grandma Paradise. After all, she is always calm and kind. No matter what happens, grandma takes everything easily, positively and with humor. When my cousin and I accidentally burned a blanket in the hallway, she didn’t scold us. Just told us to be careful. After all, we could harm ourselves, cause a fire and cause her a lot of trouble.

A person’s good manners also presupposes good morals, the ability to apologize, express one’s condolences or one’s regret about certain sad situations. A well-mannered person knows soft, tactful, polite words. He restrains words that are rude, boorish and abusive. Even if you find yourself in an awkward situation, you should always control yourself and your restraint will help you.

Among the characters in Russian literature, one can call the girl Anna Karenina, who was created in his imagination by the writer Leo Tolstoy, a very intelligent and well-mannered person. The story about her is called “Anna Karenina”. The main character Anna is a person with a capital letter. She is spiritually developed, strives for education, is drawn to culture, and knows how to behave in society, which, unfortunately, cannot be said about many other characters. Even about the elders from her. That is, good manners are not always acquired by a person with age. It should be taken care of from a young age, as wise people say.

A person’s upbringing is an indicator of respect for oneself and others, an indicator of self-esteem. A person's upbringing gives him self-confidence and helps him achieve success in life.

Essays on topics:

1. A well-mannered person. What does this concept mean? The dictionary defines the word “well-mannered” as: “Differentiated by a good upbringing, able to behave well.” IN...
2. It is no secret that mercy is rarely shown in the affairs of imperfect people. Why is there such an opinion? People are often driven by greed, arrogance...

To other people.

As for good manners, the specific list of them varies in different cultures, and therefore good manners are sometimes defined as the ability and habit to follow the rules of behavior adopted in the reference group.

If you take the manners of the English Queen as a model, it is not obvious that you will make a corresponding impression in the East. You may be considered a not very well-mannered person if you don’t burp while eating (this is accepted in the East as a sign of food satisfaction) and pour a full cup of tea for guests, while in the East well-mannered people pour tea little by little for dear guests to show their readiness to look after them again...

However, one drunken homeless person among other drunken homeless people will never be recognized as a well-mannered person precisely because such homeless people do not recognize the rules of behavior, good manners and good manners in principle.

We can say that good manners is respect for the people around you that is built into a person. If you were properly taught how to behave, taught good manners, and you learned this properly, you are a well-mannered person. If you were not raised or you did not absorb this upbringing, you are not fully educated. However, if a person practices, then the results are sometimes no worse.

Like any skill, good manners can be deeply learned, becoming a personality trait - and superficial, easily disappearing in problematic situations, or falling off a person over time if outside control has disappeared.

Elementary education distinguishes a person who is at least somewhat educated from someone who is ill-mannered at all. If a child doesn’t scream like crazy and doesn’t steal food from someone else’s plate, he has already received a basic education. Elementary education talks about WHAT needs to be done, but to a small extent it talks about HOW, and does not talk about style. Real, or high manners, are more about HOW, it is style, it is the beauty of movements and the charm of intonation. High good manners is not only formal and thoughtless behavior, but also an understanding of the meaning of this behavior, an internal commitment to good manners.

Children have to be instilled with good manners, because at first glance, good manners are unprofitable: a well-mannered person has to limit himself in many ways, and in a collision with an ill-mannered person, a well-mannered person almost always loses: he cannot afford what a person free from good manners can easily afford. The earlier a child is taught good manners, the greater the chances that it will be “in his blood,” however, instilling good manners against the backdrop of the child’s initial internal protest gives very controversial results.

A person’s good manners (or lack of manners) is visible to an attentive eye from afar and is an important marker for people with developed self-esteem. Education is like caste. Well-mannered people form a certain circle where not everyone is admitted, but only a select few, like themselves - well-mannered people. A well-mannered person will not unnecessarily show disrespect to an ill-mannered person, but will never befriend him or have serious business with him.

Good manners, as a set of rules of human society, in many cases quite successfully replaces empathy and the recommendations of psychologists. A well-mannered person is positive, does not use conflict agents, shows syntony, behaves with restraint and dignity in conflict, not because he is familiar with the recommendations of psychologists, but simply because he was raised that way. In many cases, practical psychology is needed only insofar as a person did not receive the proper education at one time.

Unfortunately, the facts show that in Russia education is lower than in other countries. It is Russian tourists who receive the most complaints about their behavior abroad, and the creator of the anonymous social network Secret, David Bittov, sadly stated that “In no other country in the world do people publish such an amount of indecent content.” People with the Russian mentality have to be specially explained that anonymity is needed not only to talk about dirty sex and other people’s relationships.

True good manners manifests itself at home, in your family, in relationships with relatives

Opinion of Dmitry Sergeevich Likhachev, literary critic and cultural historian, academician of the USSR Academy of Sciences

If a man on the street lets an unfamiliar woman pass ahead, opens the door for her, but at home does not help his wife wash the dishes, he is an ill-mannered person. If he is polite with his acquaintances, but gets irritated with his family over every little thing, he is an ill-mannered person. If he does not take into account the habits, desires, preferences of his loved ones, he is an ill-mannered person. And if he likes to joke about his wife and children, sometimes even humiliating them, especially in front of strangers, this man is simply stupid. At the heart of all good manners is care - care that a person does not interfere with another, so that everyone feels good together. You don’t need to memorize hundreds of rules, but remember one thing - the need to respect others.

Respect is determined by a person’s behavior, manners, and ability to dress. The foundations of education are laid in childhood. Parents and people around them act as a model of behavior from which the child reads data and applies it in adulthood. A well-mannered person who treats people with respect. Rules of behavior change under the influence of such factors: place of residence, status and religion of a person. Recently, publications have been published proving the influence of heredity on personality manners. What is education? Is this an innate or acquired quality?

What is good manners?

An educated person treats people with respect, regardless of the circumstances. At the same time, different requirements are placed on children and adults. It is enough for children to follow the rules established in the family. The respectfulness of an adult is manifested in following good manners and maintaining the norms of behavior accepted in a particular environment.

A well-educated person, being in society, takes into account what customs are inherited in the country or family. For example, in the East it is customary to pour an incomplete cup of tea to dear guests. By refilling the glass, the owners of the house once again show attention.

An adult has to maintain the level of upbringing, since the world around does not stand still. Cultural trends and political views are changing. The foundations of manners are laid by parents, then a person educates himself.

A cultured person stands out through his gestures, facial expressions, and speech. During a conversation, a well-mannered person does not wave his arms, pronounces words in a calm tone, and does not grimace. Such a person reacts to the opinions of others, does not slander behind one’s back, and says sharp and caustic things. A person with impeccable manners is called diplomatic, tactful, polite.

What kind of educated person is he?

Standards of behavior are created by people. Therefore, disagreements arise when defining a respectful person. Such disputes are easy to resolve. Ask the people around you why they consider you a well-mannered person. We list the criteria that are recognized by society:

1. Charm and pleasant communication. A well-mannered person radiates goodwill and does not use a raised tone. People are drawn to such a person and surround him with attention.
2. Intelligence. For many, this is synonymous with a cultural personality. An intelligent person is reserved, taciturn, and has self-esteem. Doesn't get out of balance, no matter what happens around you.
3. Tactfulness and delicacy. A well-mannered person would rather remain silent than express an opinion that will offend his interlocutor. In conversation he does not use swear words and does not touch upon topics that are unpleasant to others.
4. Respect. Not ostentatious quality and playing in public are noted. A well-mannered person will treat a stranger or a loved one with equal respect.

Factors influencing good manners

Raising a child is not only about instilling kindness and good skills. Adults face betrayal, anger, and hatred in life. Therefore, it is important to take off your child’s rose-colored glasses in time. Tell your children instructive stories, analyze examples from life.

Since the skill is laid down from an early age, a person’s behavior and character are influenced by parents. What other factors influence education?

1. Family relationships. A child in the womb reacts to light, sounds, and voices. Therefore, it should be built not from the day the baby is born, but from the day of conception. Banal conflicts lead to serious quarrels. Adults are not ready to give in, they look for the extreme or the guilty. Make it a point to talk through scandals and admit when you're wrong. Show your child that love and understanding reign in your family. To other people's children, consider his opinion and allow him to enter into debates. Let him learn to defend his point of view tactfully and reasonedly, and not with shouting and hysterics.

   It is better to show by example once how a well-mannered person behaves than to explain the rules of behavior a hundred times.

2. Environment. The mother or grandmother takes a greater part in raising the child. Cones fall on them if the child stumbles. The ideal parenting scheme is equal participation of mom and dad. But, in addition to communicating with parents, the child attends kindergarten, school, and clubs. Children watch TV, play computer games, read books. Education is formed under the influence of information received by the child outside the home. At the same time, an outside opinion is valued more than the notations of relatives. In order not to lose your authority, take an interest in your child’s affairs, pay attention to him every day, analyzing together how the day went.

Do you want to grow a well-mannered personality? Forget about using force, do not reprimand the child in the presence of strangers. Let your children know every day that he is important to you. By instilling rules of behavior in a child, adults maintain their level of respect.

Good manners: an innate or acquired quality?

Previously, it was believed that if you surround a child with well-mannered people, then an angel will grow out of him. Research by scientists has proven the opposite. Education is influenced by parental efforts and genes. Physical ability and health also contribute. It is not without reason that married couples who decide to adopt a child carefully study who the child was born to.

Scientists have proven that heredity influences a person’s upbringing. If identical twins are separated in infancy and given to different families, they will still have the same personality traits.

On the other hand, the rules of behavior laid down in the family influence a person. , aggressiveness, non-standard actions - these are the consequences of upbringing. They grow up with callous parents. An unstable family situation leads to problems in adult life. Scientists have identified factors influencing poor upbringing: poverty, domestic violence, poor quality nutrition, bad habits among parents. It is possible to stop the destructive impact if you involve outside help. Participation of social services, completion of rehabilitation programs.

Whose side is the truth on? Is good manners an innate or acquired quality? In fact, the situation cannot be viewed one-sidedly. A person is born with a set of genes that... At the same time, being in society, succumbing to the influence of others, the personality changes and builds a line of behavior. A person’s manners are formed in equal parts under the influence of:

1. Hereditary factors. Includes the infant's character, vulnerability, and physical condition.
2. Education. It is formed as a result of the attitude of parents and others towards the child, the presence of stressful situations and aggravating circumstances.

A person's personality is formed as a result of the interaction of heredity and upbringing. These two factors complement each other, connecting at certain stages of life. In the first three years, genes and biological data dominate. Then they weaken, and the baby’s environment joins in. During this period, genetic vulnerability manifests itself. Constant stress and depression change a person, affect respect and disrupt brain function. Scientists have proven that proper education can defeat genetic diseases.

Surveys have shown that the level of education is falling. Other behavior patterns contribute to this. If we go back to the recent past, we can see that representatives of the fairer sex were raised in institutions for noble maidens. In addition to education, girls were taught communication skills and decent manners. , refined taste was instilled, and attention was paid to behavior. The boys strived to get into cadet schools, where, in addition to military wisdom, they learned responsibility, composure, and politeness. Today, government institutions assign a role to education, but not to upbringing. Giving all the cards into the hands of the parents. But not all adults are ready to raise a worthy unit of society.

How to become an educated person?

1. Analyze your behavior. Think about which aspects or character traits you would like to improve. Then ask your friends to give you a description. Work on your negative and weak points.
2. Respect others. Start with destruction. Don't let yourself think badly of other people. Before you speak out or give advice, think about whether you would like to hear such words addressed to you.
3. Communicate with people at ease. People perceive the inability to carry on a conversation as bad manners. After all, such a person remains silent or says nonsense. Enslavement and timidity lead to the fact that a person is embarrassed to speak out. To avoid being branded as an ill-mannered person, learn to communicate with people.
4. Find the ideal. At first, you will need a role model to form the basics. Look for a well-mannered person among your friends. A movie or book character will do. If there is no suitable example, then make new acquaintances, communicate with people more often, note what character traits you like, and learn from experience.
5. Accept other people's opinions. addressed to a person, ridiculing behavior or clothing indicates a lack of upbringing. Each personality manifests itself in its own way and does not need to impose your opinion. You cannot make fun of people with physical or mental disabilities.

Education is formed as a result of heredity and the contribution of parents and the public. A person can improve this skill by working on himself. The level of good manners manifests itself in non-standard situations. If the behavior is superficial, then under stress the person will break down and show true emotions. Good breeding, given by nature and acquired over the course of life, attracts people with manners, sophistication, and a person’s ability to communicate and look dignified.

Education is the purposeful development of each growing person as a unique human individuality and personality.

The educational process in a modern school is part of a holistic pedagogical process that combines teaching and upbringing. The psychological essence of the upbringing process is the transfer of a child from one state to another, and from the standpoint of psychology, upbringing is the process of transferring experience, knowledge, values, norms, and rules external to the individual into the internal mental plane of the individual, into his beliefs, attitudes, and behavior.

From the point of view of pedagogy, the educational process is a consciously organized interaction between teachers and students, organizing and stimulating the active activities of those being educated to master social and spiritual experience, values, and relationships (Kharlamov I.F.).

Modern theory believes that education does not consist of direct influence, but of social interaction between teacher and student. The process is implemented through the organization of children’s activities; the result of the teacher’s actions is expressed in qualitative changes in the consciousness and behavior of the student. Essentially, to educate means to organize the meaningful life and developmental activities of children together with adults, where both will have their own roles, goals, and mutual relationships.

In order to find out whether the educational process has achieved its goal, it is necessary to compare the designed and actual results of education. Without knowledge of the achieved results, neither planning nor process management is possible. The results of the educational process are understood as the level of education achieved by an individual or a team. It may correspond to what was designed, or it may differ from it.

Determining the education of schoolchildren is a complex and not completely resolved problem in modern pedagogy. At present, only a rough idea of ​​the levels of education can be made using complex and labor-intensive procedures for identifying and analyzing the results of education.

Good manners - the ability to behave in society, good manners. Good manners, as a rule, is understood as the courteous, polite behavior of a person distinguished by good manners, correct speech, the ability to communicate with people around him in various situations, etc. A well-mannered person is characterized by politeness, courtesy, knowledge of the rules of cultural behavior and etiquette. In a broad sense, good manners is an integral quality of intelligence. Good manners are manifested not only in relation to people, but also to animals and the surrounding nature. Good breeding is formed from early childhood and is determined by the development of culture in society, the social environment, educational systems in the family, educational institution, etc.

In everyday life, good manners usually mean good manners, the ability to behave appropriately in society, and respect for other people. As for good manners, the specific list of them varies in different cultures, and therefore good manners are sometimes defined as the ability and habit to follow the rules of behavior. We can say that good manners is respect for the people around you that is built into a person. If you were properly taught how to behave, taught good manners, and you learned this properly, you are a well-mannered person.

A modern child is under the influence of a constant onslaught of information, so it is necessary to remember that, in the words of A.S. Makarenko, a child “is brought up by everything: people, things, phenomena, first of all and most of all - people. To direct and manage this development is the task of education.”

Among the many approaches to determining good manners, the following can be distinguished:

1) an indicator of good manners is orientation (the first approach is an orientation “towards an object”, “towards other people”, “towards oneself”; the second is the identification of a positive - towards good, creation - and a negative - towards evil, destruction - orientation);

2) an indicator of good manners is the presence of socially significant personality qualities. The set of these qualities may vary depending on the graduate model of a particular educational institution. The leading guidelines include the attitude to the highest values: to man, work, school, beauty, nature, and oneself.

3) indicators determined on the basis of the personality structure: motives of the pupil’s behavior; knowledge by pupils of norms and rules of behavior in accordance with their age; the formation of skills and behavior in accordance with the age of the student; in general, the behavior of pupils.

Studying the results and effectiveness of the educational process is one of the most difficult issues in pedagogical theory and practice. The complexity is due, first of all, to the fact that the state, results and effectiveness of the educational process are influenced not only by the conditions of the school itself, but also by the environment external to it. In its “pure form” it is impossible to determine the result of the influence of educational work on the achievement of set pedagogical goals. However, by refusing to study the effectiveness of the educational process, children will be doomed to spontaneous existence and development.

Studying and analyzing the education of schoolchildren allows:

specify the goals of educational work;

take a differentiated approach to students with different levels of education;

provide an individual approach to the personality of each student;

justify the choice of content and methods of education;

correlate the intermediate result with the initially recorded result;

see the immediate and more distant results of the educational system.

Moral qualities are formed on the basis and in connection with other personal formations that reveal a person’s relationship to society, work, a humane attitude towards people and a fundamentally demanding attitude towards oneself. When they interact, they give rise to new properties - the upbringing of the individual. However, while noting the closeness of the categories of quality and good manners, we do not identify them, since certain qualities are inherent in all people, but good manners are not for everyone. The upbringing of a person is determined not by individual qualities, but by their totality, moral content and orientation, and level of development. Good manners is a personality property characterized by a set of sufficiently formed socially significant qualities, in a generalized form reflecting the system of a person’s relationships to society and the team, mental and physical work, to people, and to himself.

Good manners presupposes a culture of behavior, etiquette (compliance with the rules of behavior in a regulated form) and a culture of communication. The predominance of negative traits in the behavior of a certain person allows us to talk about his bad manners.

In determining the signs of schoolchildren’s upbringing, it is necessary to take into account their age capabilities. Being the object of education, schoolchildren become subjects of active activity and self-education not immediately, but as their intellectual capabilities, the ability to evaluate and self-esteem, regulate their behavior and the behavior of others, and independently organize activities develop. At the same time, a sign of the development of good manners is the independent adoption of the correct behavioral decision, the degree of manifestation of self-regulation.

The teacher and class teacher need to remember that independence is expressed in the ability to set goals and objectives, make decisions and make a justified, informed choice of methods of activity. The tendency to carry out independent volitional actions on the basis of learned moral principles and norms, moral beliefs and habits is reflected in self-regulation.

Independence in organizing activities and self-regulation of behavior are considered by us as the main signs of the development of good manners. These are extremely important signs and because the struggle of motives ends, behavior manifests itself in specific circumstances.

Education as a pedagogical concept.

In the conceptual dictionary, “good manners” is interpreted as a level of personal development, manifested in consistency between knowledge, beliefs, behavior and characterized by the degree of development of socially significant qualities. Discord, the conflict between what a person knows, how he thinks and how he actually acts, can lead to an identity crisis. Education is the current level of personality development, in contrast to education - the potential level of the personality, the zone of its proximal development.

A child’s upbringing is the result of upbringing designed to best prepare the child for a full-blooded life in the modern world, which means that the measure of upbringing determines the degree of preparedness of the child for life at the level of its modern culture and the potential for a happy life.

When talking about a child’s upbringing, we mean the degree to which he meets the high demands of culture. True, adults also do not all meet such standards and not to a very high degree, but education throughout the world and has always been oriented towards the highest level of cultural achievement, which determined the purpose of education.

However, is it possible to discover in some way a person’s upbringing, taking advantage of the achievements of mankind? We need a yardstick by which to evaluate the presence of good manners. We need a criterion for assessing the phenomenon that interests us.

Good manners - This is the entire set of personal qualities, containing various traits and properties formed in the process of upbringing. For example, politeness as an element of good manners is formed on the basis of the integration of the developed habits of saying hello, giving way to adults, and thanking for certain services. Then more complex traits of this quality are developed: the ability to show courtesy, signs of attention and courtesy; readiness for mutual assistance; necessary culture of speech, communication, etc. (Kharlamov I.F.).

Good manners criteria divided into hard and soft:

Strict criteria - these are statistical indicators characterizing the general level of education of young people: the number of offenses committed; the number of young people serving sentences for crimes; the number of divorces and broken families; number of children abandoned by their parents; the rate of spread of drunkenness, smoking, drug addiction, prostitution, etc.

These statistical indicators help to look at the level of problems in society and quickly plan their solutions (for example, treatment of drug addiction in adolescents).

Soft criteria help educators gain a general understanding of the progress and results of the educational process. For example, the criteria for aesthetic education can be: completeness and versatility of aesthetic knowledge, aesthetic interests and needs, the need to communicate with art, manifestations of aesthetic feelings when communicating with beauty, the depth of perception of works of art, the ability and need to aesthetically transform the surrounding reality.

Methods for diagnosing good breeding: observation, questioning, testing, conversations with students and their parents, analysis of the results of students’ activities, sociometric methods and pedagogical consultation.

The results of education are most often delayed. And the criteria and methods available in pedagogy today do not make it possible to deeply and reliably diagnose often hidden personality traits. Therefore, the basis for assessing good manners, according to Russian professor I.P. Podlasy, the general moral orientation of the individual should be based, and not its individual qualities. At the same time, the student’s behavior should not be considered independently of his motivation. Sometimes even the most humane actions, supposedly indicating a person’s upbringing, are actually not due to the best intentions.

Along with good manners, among the personality characteristics there are: good manners, defined as the need and ability for self-education.

Self-education is a human activity aimed at changing one’s personality in accordance with consciously set goals, established ideals and beliefs. Self-education presupposes a certain level of development of self-awareness, the ability to analyze and compare one’s actions with the actions of other people.

Self-education is carried out on the basis of goals formulated by a person, a program of action, monitoring the implementation of the program, evaluating the results obtained and self-correction.

Self-education methods:

Self-knowledge including introspection, introspection, self-evaluation, self-comparison.

Self-control based on self-persuasion, self-control, self-order, self-hypnosis, self-strengthening, self-confession, self-coercion.

Self-stimulation, involving self-encouragement, self-encouragement, self-punishment and self-restraint.