We have more or less figured out how to behave and how to structure a conversation. But what if, following all the advice, desired result fail to achieve? You are probably doing something wrong, or using prohibited techniques. What kind of techniques are these, and what actions delay the long-awaited moment, we list below:

1. Obsessiveness. Under no circumstances tell a guy about your desire to become his wife several times a day, inserting phrases about marriage in every conversation. The man will feel pressure, and fears will only increase, along with doubts and uncertainty. It is enough to discuss this issue in one conversation, and the guy will remember. If he didn't propose the next day after the conversation, it doesn't mean he forgot about her. It is likely that he is considering the information, weighing it and planning further actions.
2. Social influence. Marriage between a man and a woman- this is a decision that two people come to; friends, colleagues and even parents should not be involved here. If you think that outside influence can speed up the process, then you are at great risk, as a backlash often occurs.
3. Conditions. No need to put it on your young man the condition is that in order to continue the relationship, he must marry you, otherwise you will leave him. This is the same pressure and pressing that scares guys the most, so it definitely won’t work to bring the wedding closer in this way. If you set a time frame, for example, three months for him to take you as his wife, otherwise the relationship will end, then this will give rise to a variety of experiences, worries and doubts, but will not bring the desired moment any closer. Attract a woman's cunning and ability to manipulate a man, rather than act directly.
4. Early deadline. If your relationship began several months ago, then it’s definitely too early to talk about marriage. A guy needs more time to get used to not only the upcoming wedding, but even a serious relationship.
5. Role play. In order to get an offer, do not try to satisfy the whims of a man in every possible way, while forgetting about yourself. Even if you stand at the stove for three hours every day, preparing pickles for him, picking him up from parties, changing his outfits and accompanying him to football or boxing, this will not bring the wedding any closer. Believe me, the more self-sufficient a woman is, the more interesting she is, because a man is interested in winning his lady, and not connecting himself with someone who does not have her own self.

Of course, each couple is individual, so the approach to a guy needs to be different everywhere. But most importantly, do not destroy strong and reliable relationships just because you cannot wait for the stamp in your passport. If you really need a wedding, be tolerant and use feminine tricks to control the guy, but do not rely on ultimatums, hysterics and insults.

Finally, we offer you a few general advice:

• Do not conduct the conversation in such a way that, starting with the topic of wedding, it ends with threats of breaking up the relationship, tears or scandal;
• Marriage is a responsible matter, so you should make sure that you choose the right person who really suits you before you start persuading him for marriage;
• Time is the best companion right decisions. Don't put pressure on your partner, demanding an immediate answer to the question when he proposes to you;
• There are people who simply do not see the point of putting a stamp in their passport, so if your chosen one belongs to this category, do not hope for marriage. For those for whom it is so important to get married, such a person is not on the way. If you are still thinking about how to push a man to take decisive action, Despite his position, try to influence a person’s attitude towards marriage, but this is not always possible.

The site for those who are in love with themselves, Koshchka ru, is today ready to give advice to those who often become an extra corner in love triangle- to mistresses. You, of course, know that he has an angry and ugly wife, with whom he has not slept for 5 years, she will not give him a divorce, and he is with her only for the sake of the children. You know, because you - mistress.

• Have you ever seen your rival, the ugly one?
• Was she interested in the number of bedrooms in the house (if he doesn’t even sleep in the same room with her)?
• Did you offer to talk to this “bitch” about the divorce?
• Does she even know about you?

It’s not for nothing that they say that in a love triangle one corner is extra. As a rule, this is the mistress's corner. And if a man is faced with a choice - a wife or a mistress, then the betrothed more often wins. Why? Because it’s more comfortable with a wife, she is for life, it’s warm and cozy with her, and a mistress is for love and consolation. And you wonder, ?

Secret partisan intelligence

How to become a mistress better than wife? The answer is simple: you need surpass her. This will be your main task. Let’s talk further about how to solve it.

Firstly, you have one advantage that your lover’s wife most often does not have - you know the enemy, so to speak, by sight. That is, you know about the marital status of your chosen one, while the wife does not always know about the existence of her mistress.

Secondly, you can conduct “secret reconnaissance.” One way or another, your man will tell you something about his wife (of course, complaining more often than praising). And he will never talk to her about you. You, as a woman who is looking for all the ways to become better than his wife, will listen carefully and shake his head, remember everything that his betrothed does not satisfy him with. This will be your main weapon.

Thirdly, using your body, you will captivate his soul - lure him to your rear.

Remember, in the article “” we already talked about who a man would want to stay with. To win this fight, try to combine in yourself all those qualities that the husband considers the best in his wife (and, believe me, they exist, since he is still with her and not with you: an excellent mother, clean, an excellent cook and etc.) and not lose those he found in you. Ready to become a superwoman? Then let's begin.

Do you know how men joke among themselves about the ideal lover?

• It is better if she is bald - so that there is no hair on her clothes after meetings;
• I didn’t use cosmetics - the reason is the same - no traces;
• I was mute - so that I wouldn’t tell anyone about your relationship;
• She was allergic to flowers and perfumes - so that there were no costs and other people’s compromising odors;
• She was an orphan - so that her mother wouldn’t ask about who this man was? And so on and so forth.

It is quite possible for a mistress to become better than his wife - especially if you carefully listen to a man’s stories about his wife and draw conclusions about her mistakes!

Our task, of course, is similar - to become ideal lover for your man. But the goal is not to hide from the whole world, but to become better than his wife, and in the case when a man is faced with a choice between you, not to be an extra corner of the triangle.

• The first piece of advice on how to become a better mistress than your wife is: sex(one of the reasons why a man chose you, his mistress) should be such that he wants to return to you again and again. This is how you will keep him close to you at first, so that later you can prove that you are better than his wife. Create such an atmosphere in your home that a man will be drawn to you: listen to him carefully, praise and support him more often.
• The second tip is to be open. don't compete with your rival wife, don't criticize her. Just ignore it. Try to put a stop to all your sweetheart’s stories about his rightful beloved in a timely manner. Behave in such a way that the man does not even think that you are afraid of her, that you see her as a rival. For him, you must be the best! Pretend that you ignore all his stories about her, but at the same time listen to what he doesn’t like about his wife (arranges interrogations about where he has been and with whom, throws hysterics for any reason, etc.) Fundamentally change the conversation to another topic, for example , he starts talking about what his wife did, and you ask him: “Would you rather have a sandwich with cheese or sausage?” Well, something like that. And you quietly remember to yourself what he doesn’t like about his wife because, as they say, forewarned is forearmed - you won’t make her mistakes.
• The third tip on how to become a better wife is to in conversations, do not insist on breaking up their relationship, but behave in such a way that the man understands that he will be better off with you than with his wife. He must decide to take this step himself when he is ready for it. Not when he convinces you that there is still a little bit left, but precisely when he himself realizes this.

As you can see, you have a chance to surpass her, which means you know what war tactics to choose, and how to behave with your beloved man, how to become better than your rival wife.

But if you see that his wife is still a worthy chosen one and you, knowing your man well, understand that this is the woman with whom he feels good and comfortable, and you still turned out to be the odd man out, then find the strength in yourself go aside. Or come to terms with the role of a mistress - the one who is for love, but for life he has another. And although you think you know, , he has already made his choice - he is not going to part with her.

Yuli4ka - especially for Koshechka.ru - a site for those in love... with themselves!

Question for a psychologist:

Good day.

Perhaps I'll start from the very beginning. I was born into an ordinary Soviet family in the distant republic of Uzbekistan, I was raised by a strict grandmother and an always working mother, my father abandoned me before birth. She grew up as an ordinary child, studied well, was a diligent, neat girl, who grew into a caring, clean woman, without bad habits, homely, warm and cozy. But by the will of fate or the policies of states, it so happened that after the death of my grandmother, my mother and I had to move to Russia for permanent residence, like Russian immigrants. It was difficult, cold, hungry, but we are alive, healthy and still hoping for the best.

Nine years ago I met young man, he was attentive, caring, kind. They started living together, making plans, even asking her to get married. At that time, I had huge problems with citizenship, I was a citizen of Uzbekistan, and the Federal Migration Service advised me not to burden myself with the issue of marriage and subsequent paperwork, etc. It took me 15 years to achieve Russian citizenship.

Lesha came into my life simply with a suitcase in his hands, we lived and still live renting a house. For the first 4 years we lived in a separate rented apartment, and then my mother was laid off from work and sent to a well-deserved pension. Mom, as a person who worked all her life, of course became confused, her teeth began to fall out from stress and became haggard, she grew old, she tried for six months to find a job in her profession as an accountant, but it didn’t work. She settled at home, moved into our rented accommodation and locked herself within 4 walls. She behaves quietly, but is always dissatisfied; in response to my requests and hysterics to get out of this state, she becomes aggressive and nothing changes. And so for the 4th year. Of course, my man doesn’t like it and neither do I, it’s difficult for us both financially and psychologically. I spin between them, trying to somehow smooth out the situation, although they don’t fight, they just silently ignore each other. But I’m not blind, nothing works for me. I am driven into a corner, there is an opportunity to change my living conditions, but my mother does not want to live with Lyosha under the same roof (she thinks that he is not a match for me), and he is categorically against buying a house and living with his mother-in-law. But I don’t have the opportunity to take out 2 mortgages or rent 2 apartments. Today my darling kind man, confronted me with a fact: either my mother leaves or I leave. I consider this betrayal on his part, knowing our life situation, it is despicable. Help me find a reasonable way out, how not to offend my mother and support her, and not lose a man, or maybe just leave everyone...

Psychologist Almira Miralievna Golodova answers the question.

Hello, Alinka! You have had to face problems more than once. But you solved them quite successfully.

What now? Your mother did not find a use for herself, was not able to make the transition from active to calmer activity, or rather, she was not ready for retirement. She couldn't find an alternative. Unfortunately, people are not prepared for life in retirement. You write that you offer your mother to get out of the state into which she has driven herself, but your mother is aggressive. How and what do you offer her? How can you “load” it? What can and does she want to do? You can consider options. Your loved one has lived with you for 9 years, and now he is faced with the choice “either me or your mother”? This is not a choice, this is pure manipulation of you.

You have to clearly place emphasis. Mom is one person and that is mom. A loved one is another person. There can be no question of any choice here! This is not a choice!!!

They have an opposing relationship: discontent, burdened with each other. Because your mother cannot solve her problem, she takes it out on your man “he is not a match for you.” And your man suddenly has an idea about himself who knows what. Accordingly, all the negativity goes to you.

You move between them, you are an intermediary. Stop being between them! Sit down together at a round table and start solving real problems! So say that there is an opportunity to change living conditions, that is, to live BETTER! But we can only live better together. And this fact is not discussed. Everything else is discussed and discussed.

17.11.2010, 01:08

What are your actions?

17.11.2010, 07:24

Imagine this situation:
Your beloved man gets to know you close friend, with whom you are very close, have been together for at least 10-15 years.
Your girlfriend and your boyfriend really didn’t like each other, they were antipathetic to the point of hating each other.
A man puts you before a choice - either you break off all relationships and communication with your friend, or he leaves.
What are your actions?

You need to break with the one who sets the conditions!!!

Native Natural

17.11.2010, 08:24

As a rule, it is the girlfriend who breaks off the relationship, not the husband and wife in such a situation.

Firstly, don’t make or raise children with your girlfriend (physically, this is only possible through IVF)
secondly, a friend will be a friend for a year or two or ten, and then she will find a man for herself and leave her to raise the children with him, leaving you in the lurch with your ambitions/divorces.
thirdly, there is less “blood” when parting. since a “friend” sets conditions, then this is NOT a friend, but... a colleague/neighbor/etc. and it’s not a pity to part with such friends.

Alternatively, you can simply keep their “dates” to a minimum. communicate with a friend online on Skype, rather than having a tea party at home for the three of us.

17.11.2010, 08:48

Imagine this situation:
Your beloved man gets to know your closest friend, with whom you are very close; you have been together for at least 10-15 years.
Your girlfriend and your boyfriend really didn’t like each other, they were antipathetic to the point of hating each other.
A man puts you before a choice - either you break off all relationships and communication with your friend, or he leaves.
What are your actions?

If they love a person, they will not limit his freedom of communication. A loving girl she herself will give her man so much attention that he will not think that he was deprived of this attention. And he will have no desire to issue ultimatums. Or......or......
Otherwise, leave your girlfriend today, then don’t communicate with your parents, then he’ll get into something else. It's better not to deal with such cretins. Well, if love is evil, then put it in its place using their own methods. Since it’s impossible to separate, it’s impossible. (Yes, they will disperse anyway!!!)

17.11.2010, 09:26

For me, if a man sets such conditions, he makes his “beloved” very painful by presenting her with such a choice, and that means he does not love her.

Katenka - I agree

Native Natural

17.11.2010, 09:40

....
Dear Natural, in the situation I described, the man sets the conditions.

Sorry, I didn't read it carefully.
and also my own stereotype of family life worked, because I’ve been reading the phrase together for at least 10-15 years. and I didn’t see at all that this, it turns out, referred to my friend:ck:

17.11.2010, 10:32

Lover or girlfriend

Your beloved man gets to know your closest friend, with whom you are very close; you have been together for at least 10-15 years.
Your girlfriend and your boyfriend really didn’t like each other, they were antipathetic to the point of hating each other.
A man puts you before a choice - either you break off all relationships and communication with your friend, or he leaves.
What are your actions?

17.11.2010, 10:44

Lover or girlfriend
Imagine this situation:
Your beloved man gets to know your closest friend, with whom you are very close; you have been together for at least 10-15 years.
Your girlfriend and your boyfriend really didn’t like each other, they were antipathetic to the point of hating each other.
A man puts you before a choice - either you break off all relationships and communication with your friend, or he leaves.
What are your actions?

A true friend will never interfere true love. In general, in this situation there can be many shades. Is your friend jealous? What is the background of your relationship then? Does your friend simply have no one else to talk to? You have found love, you spend more time with your loved one, but this is so natural, a true friend should be happy for you. One of my acquaintances in his youth did not insist that all relations with his girlfriend be terminated; the girlfriend ruined the whole life of his former passion, because because of his girlfriend they broke up, and very painfully. And her new boyfriend, from a friend, suited only the friend in everything, but not his passion. As a result, he drank himself to death, not without the help of her friend. The family turned out to be unhappy.
In general, such ladies who suddenly have such a choice, personally make me wary, I leave them myself.

It goes without saying that if friends are really friends, then they will not ruin each other’s lives. Everyone understands that personal happiness is personal. That there are no strangers in it. But this is not exactly the question you answered, although maybe you understood it that way. I also thought it all that way at first, then I realized that I was wrong. After all we're talking about rather about selfishness on the part of a man in relation to the woman he “beloved”. Indulging in such behavior means losing all your friends and not having the opportunity to communicate outside of each other.
If only your beloved passion could tell you that she really doesn’t like your friend, and he, in turn, doesn’t have a very good opinion of your girlfriend. They say she's such a whipper, why should you find her better? You will explain to your friend that this is your choice. Or stop talking to him altogether.
And if your friend tells you that it’s your choice to live with her, it’s my business, God grant you happiness, but I don’t understand your choice. That is, he is not against her, but he does not want to communicate with her because perhaps he considers her not worthy of you. You, too, at the whim of your beloved, would break off your friendship with him or say that this is your friend and it is not her concern who you communicate with outside the home and not to the detriment of personal relationships with her.

18.11.2010, 23:39

There is no need to break off relationships... because everything can be discussed... because of such an attitude, there is no need to break off!
I have such a situation..currently I’m in the role of a friend)))) and I was slightly pushed to the back burner)) I think it’s inappropriate..but apparently that’s the way it should be) in her opinion)))
and in general...there is no female friendship)

Vasya Pupkin

23.12.2010, 00:01

You need to break with the one who sets the conditions!!!

I criticize. It’s just a pity that friends sometimes get offended. I have to turn on the politician.

Justice

07.08.2011, 18:58

You need to explain to those at war that you are not comfortable...

23.04.2012, 15:35

Imagine this situation:
Your beloved man gets to know your closest friend, with whom you are very close; you have been together for at least 10-15 years.
Your girlfriend and your boyfriend really didn’t like each other, they were antipathetic to the point of hating each other.
A man puts you before a choice - either you break off all relationships and communication with your friend, or he leaves.
What are your actions?

What is the point for someone to go somewhere? As a rule, if conditions of this kind are set, then, in this case, “girlfriend” is just an excuse for separation, or at least a quarrel.

There is also a situation when a young man introduces a friend to his girlfriend and they don’t like each other to the point of horror, and then the friend begins (well, not to set conditions in the form of an ultimatum) but begins to methodically drip into the guy’s brain, “What do you say you see in her?” etc. The same scenario happens with girlfriends......
and very often, because of this kind of dripping from friends, not only couples break up, families break up....

23.04.2012, 16:01

Your girlfriend and your boyfriend really didn’t like each other, they were antipathetic to the point of hating each other.
A man puts you before a choice - either you break off all relationships and communication with your friend, or he leaves.
What are your actions?
The author is interested in ACTIONS under such conditions. and not evaluations of people and actions.

23.04.2012, 19:39

You need to lock your significant other and your partner in the basement for another day and let them dry off. I think their common misfortune will make them friends..........

Vyacheslav_R

23.04.2012, 22:16

The author is interested in ACTIONS under such conditions. and not evaluations of people and actions.
First, I will find out the reasons for antipathy (this is quick, because people are close to me and I feel them without interfering)) (well, here’s how to conjugate))) into their souls, what motivates them), second, I will decide how much and what is fair in their opinions (there can also be erroneous antipathy, and even vice versa - antipathy is veiled sympathy))), is it still possible to make them friends (and is it worth it, what if you lose both your loved one and your girlfriend, people in love are weak and selfish)...
As in one children’s book - “in response to mom’s expression, “a pretty friend will come to us,” dad always grinned, he didn’t believe that mom had cute friends”...
In general, this is one of the most difficult and delicate situations in life!

Yes, just a different path in life. For our days and nights, sadness,
Thank you for everything, my dear friend, No wonder, it was not stupid, but it was not nice.
We will remember with a smile, It will only be painful to get used to:
We are not enemies, we will not be friends either And maybe someday, over the years
This park is in the rain again... You are in my heart forever.
We say goodbye, but we do not part, Our love is strong, it will return. :fh:

Unfamiliar

09.06.2012, 21:01

talk to your husband and offer him an option so that he never sees his girlfriend, i.e. communicate with her in free time on foreign territory)) something like this)