If you believe in magic and strictly follow the instructions, you can quickly get rid of the person who interferes with your life by conspiracy. The effectiveness of rituals has been tested by time, they can be performed at home, no special preparation is required.

Intrusive persecution, quarrels and conflicts have a negative impact on psychological well-being and health. If a person interferes with a normal life, plots intrigues, gossips, radiates evil, white magic will help get rid of the enemy’s machinations. When, upon meeting, an ill-wisher utters words of curse, imagine a large luminous ball around you. Concentrate on building energy protection, say one of the spells:

• “I have 9 strengths, and you have 3”;
• “Let all that has been said be fulfilled in relation to you”;
• “The Lord is with me, who are you compared to God.”

Short texts of spells are quickly remembered; verbal spells neutralize negativity and return evil to the ill-wisher. It's easier to get rid of a bad person using magic.

Get rid of a bad person

If a person constantly interferes, it is necessary to perform a white magic ritual at home. Conspiracies are based on the generation of energy and help get rid of the enemy. With the help of verbal spells it will be possible to remove ill-wishers forever.

Conspiracies that will help get rid of bad people:

Purpose of the conspiracy	Conspiracy text	Execution Features
A spell to get rid of a person who is plotting	“I lock up the words of a bad person (name). I destroy your anger and hatred. As soon as you say something nasty, your body will ache, your soul will suffer. Let all troubles go back to (name), the arrows of anger and negativity return like a boomerang.”	Read the plot daily, in the morning, after waking up.
A spell to get rid of a person who says bad words and interferes with life	“Higher powers, protect from the evil eye, damage and evil adversary. Let the evil that sticks to me come back."	Say the spell at sunset.
Spell to get rid of a relative who bothers you and makes frequent visits	“My home is a wall, a mountain. Forget the road, leave the caustic words for yourself.”	Collect fresh poppy seeds and place them in a plate. Cross yourself and the grains, read the plot from the man at sunset.
The goal is to get rid of an unscrupulous colleague in a team at work.	“I tie a thread, I drive away the enemy. It will be bad for the enemy, it will not achieve the goal, it will not cause harm.”	Take a black thread and tie it into 3 knots. While performing the ritual, read the plot. At midnight, burn the thread and scatter the ashes to the wind.
A conspiracy to ward off a bad person - a cemetery ritual of black magic	“The dead rest and do not live on earth, so checks and bosses do not touch me.” “I will lead away the paths of evil. No one can take me away from the world, people only splash saliva and grind their teeth.”	Without entering the cemetery, throw a coin through the gate and read the first spell, this will help get rid of negativity. The second text is read at the grave of a person whose name coincides with the name of the boss (inspector).

In case of conflicts, do not respond to negativity, otherwise the offender will achieve his goal, magic will not help. Switch your attention to breathing, concentrate, read any conspiracy at the moment of an energy attack. This way you can get rid of the backlash.

To leave the guy behind

After fulfilling white magic spells, a man will look at the world with different eyes, stop annoying and annoying, and start looking for a new life partner. You will be able to get rid of the person forever.

Rituals that will help you get rid of an annoying man:

1. Ritual for nails. A verbal spell will help you get rid of a guy who lives in the same living space with a girl. On the night of the full moon, take 9 new nails, read the spell: “Mother Moon, close the doors with 9 locks. I speak, I order, I instruct, I demand that (name) not set foot here.” Drive nails into the floor of each room. Soon the man will feel psychological discomfort and will leave his home and will not interfere with his normal life.
2. Moonlight spell. The magical action will help get rid of the annoying person; for the ritual you will need a new needle, a photo of the man, 3 red candles. On a full moon, place a photograph on the window and place candles nearby. Write the guy's name on each item with a needle and light the wick. Read the spell: “The word is a damask stone, a sharp knife, a mountain. It’s time to drive (the guy’s name) away from higher powers. Let him not come, look, speak. I shut my mouth and throw the key into the sea.” Put out the candles with your fingers, cut them into 3 parts, and do the same with the photo. Bury the magical attributes in different places in the yard.”
3. Ritual for the waxing moon per person. Verbal prayer can get rid of a man who interferes, shows unnecessary signs of attention, and bothers you with calls and visits. Light a church candle at midnight and read the plot to make the guy fall behind: “I will submit to the Lord, I will pray to the Mother of God. Just as the sun rises and sets every morning, so (name) goes away. Go from right to left, I don’t want to hear your words and see your eyes, I don’t want to have joint affairs.”

Rituals and conspiracies will not help to get rid of a person if the guy interferes with a normal life, but is a victim of a love spell.

Get rid of an annoying person

With the help of white magic, it will be possible to get rid of an annoying person who provokes negativity, interferes, and is annoying with his presence in life. Rituals to get rid of annoying people:

1. A ritual using 3 church candles can get rid of an annoying person who persecutes and interferes with a normal life. On the full moon, retire indoors, light candles, open the window. Look at the flame, imagine that the ill-wisher is leaving forever and read the words of the conspiracy: “At the sight of the Lord, devils run away to the underworld, from water the fire goes out, from an arrow the heart dies. I don't want to see or hear you. Don’t scold, don’t judge, don’t bother.” Wait until the candles burn out; keep the cinders in the house until the energy attacks stop.
2. Ritual for a new shirt. Speak to an object during the full moon to get rid of an annoying person: “Evil words will go in reverse, from me, into a dark forest and an open field. The evil of an enemy will not harm me, will not worsen my health, will not ruin my mood.” Wear the shirt when you expect to meet an annoying person. The protective amulet will act quickly and energy attacks will stop.
3. Ritual on a scarf. Say a new thing: “Heavenly angels and seraphim, protect from importunity, negative energy, evil thoughts.” Take this magical attribute with you when you expect to meet an ill-wisher.
4. Whisper is a verbal spell, read when meeting a man who is interfering. Read the plot to get rid of an annoying person: “The eyes are empty, the bones are waxy. It’s not I who will be in trouble after your machinations, but you. Take back the words of anger and hatred.”
5. Onion ritual. The magical action is carried out at midnight, the ritual will be able to get rid of an annoying work colleague who is interfering. Peel the onion head, draw crosses with a knife, apply a drop of vinegar to each image, then wax (use a candle). Place the object in a glass container with blessed water and say the spell: “The poison of (the name of the annoying person) goes away with a hot flame.” After completing the ritual for 3 days in church, light a candle for the health of the ill-wisher.

Rituals using personal belongings have a powerful effect. The ill-wisher senses the enchanted object at the energy level, the enemy loses the desire to interfere, to bother with importunity.

Is this kind of magic dangerous?

If a black magic ritual is chosen to get rid of a person who interferes with life, there may be consequences in the form of kickbacks. Black magic rituals are dangerous for the performer and the victim, they lead to deterioration of health, and the retribution for the evil done is passed on to the descendants.

When to expect the results of the conspiracy

The length of time you wait for results is individual and depends on the ritual chosen to get rid of the person, the correctness of the execution, and the energy field of the performer. On average, you need to wait one week. If there is no result, choose another ritual.

In order for a conspiracy against an enemy who interferes with your life to work, follow the rules:

• without faith in magic the goal will not be achieved;
• actions are performed on the waning moon;
• days of the week – Saturday, Thursday;
• set a goal to protect yourself from a person who interferes with your life, but do not put negative emotions into the words of the conspiracy;
• reading conspiracies requires strong energy, do not turn to magic when you are sick or unwell;
• The ritual is performed for one person.

After you have managed to get rid of the ill-wisher who is interfering with your normal life, you need to install energy protection. Buy or make a talisman yourself, thank the Higher powers for your help.

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The article is devoted to a new approach to solving the problem of emotional dependence. The idea is that emotional addiction is determined by the feelings or parts of the subject’s personality that are “invested” in the object of addiction.

These feelings or parts of the personality can be restored using emotional imagery therapy, which leads to immediate and complete freedom from addiction.

Examples of specific correctional work with various cases of emotional dependence using the specified method are given. The possibilities of expanding the method to many related areas of therapy are shown.

Emotional dependence is the loss of personal autonomy, or a sense of personal autonomy, for emotional reasons.

Moreover, the subject of this dependence:

1. Experiences suffering due to the inaccessibility of the object of his feelings, or due to the inability to change his behavior, or due to the inadequate power of the object over him;

2. Feels the impossibility of liberation from addiction;

3. The feeling that binds him has a chronic negative impact on the subject’s life path, general well-being, decision-making and behavior.

There are quite a lot of options for emotional addictions. This could be a love addiction to a specific person, the relationship with whom has ended or, on the contrary, cannot end.

Perhaps this is a dependence on the very feeling of love (erotomania), so that the object of the feeling is not unique. This may be an addiction based on a sense of duty, when, for example, a woman is afraid to leave an alcoholic or drug addict, because he will “disappear” without her, and she will feel guilty.

This may be an addiction based on feelings of hatred or resentment, when the connection does not stop because these feelings do not find their resolution.

This may be dependence on the mother (or another person) with whom an emotional merger (confluence) occurred. In this case, the subject automatically experiences the same feelings as the object.

This may be a dependence based on a feeling of one’s own helplessness, when the subject feels complete subordination to another person. For example, a girl may feel that psychologically she is still in the womb and is afraid to face the real world.

This may be an emotional dependence on a person who has already died, to whom the subject was unable to say goodbye. This may be a dependence on the terrible or, conversely, wonderful past in which the subject still lives. It may be a dependence on the future in which the subject has invested his dreams and hopes. Etc.

A subject can suffer for many years from a feeling that makes him dependent, sometimes without even realizing it, sometimes resigning himself to it, and sometimes not wanting to part with it. Psychological assistance in these cases is aimed at ensuring that the client moves from a state of dependence to a state of independence, and in the future, if he wants, to a state of interdependence.

The last name seems to us not very successful, although it is accepted in the literature. One might think that now both individuals will become slaves to each other. But what is meant is that both will be free and, nevertheless, can feel the need for each other and can love each other without experiencing a constraining feeling of coercion and limitation of possibilities.

Liberation is always accompanied by a feeling of lightness and lack of restrictions, a calm and balanced reaction to the behavior of another person. It would be good, for example, if in the event of an unexpected breakup a young man could say in the words of a cheerful song: “If the bride leaves for someone else, then it is not known who is lucky.”

Unfortunately, sometimes they say with anger: “So don’t let anyone get you!” or “Did you pray at night, Desdemona?” or with a depressive meaning: “My life is over.” Professional therapeutic help is often needed to heal a heart wound, and this is a big and difficult job. But…

Using the EOT method, we were able to find some quick and effective ways to solve a number of the problems listed above, to achieve a state of independence by the individual, which at the same time advanced us in understanding the essence of emotional dependence itself and the psychological mechanisms of its occurrence. I'll start with an example.

Example 1. “Blue ball”.

At a seminar that I conducted at one institute for third-year students, a student invited me to help her with the problem of unrequited love. She had been under the influence of this feeling for two years now.

Every day she thought only about “him,” she lived purely mechanically, nothing really interested her, she could not love someone else, as her friends advised her. She visited a psychoanalyst at one time, but this did not help her at all.

To begin with, I invited her to imagine that the same young man was on the chair in front of her and describe the experiences that she was experiencing. She replied that her whole body, her whole body, was madly attracted to him, and this feeling was localized in her chest

Further, following the basic scheme of therapy, I invited her to imagine an image of this feeling in the same chair where the young man had previously “sat”. She replied that it was a bright blue ball, which certainly belonged to her. At the same time, she wanted to throw away this ball, but she could not do this, because, according to her, then it was as if she had died.

Already at this stage the structure of the impasse in which she found herself became apparent. She clearly wanted to repress her feelings, because of which she suffered, but at the same time she did not want to lose them.

Her ability to love in the form of a blue ball was projected onto a young man, and she was deprived of contact with this part of the personality, so she felt apathy, lived mechanically and could not love someone else. The same projection created a powerful attraction to find that blue ball again.

Then I suggested that she try both options in turn to get out of the impasse:

1. Throw the ball away completely;

2. Accept it as part of your personality.

After this, it was possible to make sure which action would be most suitable for her. However, she showed strong resistance and flatly refused both options.

In order to shake up this rigid system, I invited group members to participate in this process. Each one in turn stood behind the girl and on her behalf made a speech in which he justified his decision to throw out or accept this ball. This question affected everyone and everyone spoke very emotionally. After that, she still didn't make any decision.

Then I decided to aggravate the situation even more and applied a Gestalt therapy technique, inviting her to stand in the middle of the room with her arms out to the sides, and everyone else to pull her in the direction of the decision they had made and persuade her to do just that.

The fight broke out seriously, for some reason all the men were in favor of throwing the ball away, and all the women were in favor of leaving it. But the main action happened very quickly, the girl literally screamed: “I won’t give it up for anything!” - and rushed towards the group of women, although the men held her very tightly.

Since the decision had been made, I stopped the “game” and asked her how she was feeling. With surprise, she admitted that she felt very good, and the ball was now in her heart.

I invited her to sit down and again imagine that young man in front of her.

How do you feel now?

It's strange, I feel tenderness for him, but I don't suffer.

Can you let him go now? Tell him that you wish him happiness without you?

Yes, now I can. (Referring to the image of a young man). I let you go and wish you happiness regardless of me.

She saw the image of the young man move away and melt away, and this made her feel even better.

Now I offered her my interpretation: “The blue ball is your heart. It was given to a young man.” I said that along with those feelings that she wanted to get rid of, she also threw away her own heart, which provides the ability to love and feel, which is why she was in apathy.

Now that her heart is in the right place, she can not suffer and let this person go, while at the same time maintaining warm feelings for him. This is how Pushkin said goodbye to his beloved in his famous poem: “I loved you, love is still possible.”

After this explanation, another girl said:

I understood. I had the same thing for eight years. I psychologically held him all the time, tormented myself, tormented others, I could not truly live and love. Now I want to finish this.

In a fit of emotion, she jumped onto a chair and loudly announced that from now on he was free and could live as he wanted, and she was free too.

The seminar ended with a general discussion.

A week later I met the first girl again at the seminar, her face was glowing, she said:

Thank you very much. For the first time I lived a week happily.

I watched her for the rest of the semester, everything was fine. At the last lesson, she said that she was no longer suffering, but she still had happy memories of that love.

Comment.

Later I realized that this is how almost all situations with emotional dependence work. We are always talking about the fact that along with the loss of a beloved object, the investments that he once invested in it in the hope of receiving emotional “dividends” are “torn away” from a person. He feels loss, part of his soul is lost. He cannot create new relationships because he has nothing left to invest.

But investments in relationships make them reliable and significant, then relationships are valued. If the other person reciprocates the feelings of the first, then everyone is happy, and a strong emotional connection is established between them, providing a good basis for creating a family. When both parties to the process make mutual investments, this ensures their happiness, they have not only their favorite object, but also their own investments, because they are also with them, if the relationship is not broken.

Moreover, with them are the investments that the “opposite side” made in them.

Everyone is pleased to know that they are dear to their loved one, that they are trying for you.

This idea became the basis for a whole series of successful works on overcoming emotional dependence.

Of course, it cannot be said that the heart of one individual actually moves into the person he loves, and the latter disposes of it. But it’s not for nothing that lovers so often say that they gave their hearts to the one they love.

As the poets write: “My heart is in the mountains, and I myself am below...” In subjective reality, it is possible that something that does not happen objectively, however, has a very real and objective impact on the life of an individual.

If a subject has implemented in his subjective world (the term “projection” is also suitable) some part of his personality into another person, then he feels a constant connection with him, his dependence. He is attached insofar as his feelings or part of his personality are firmly attached to another.

Freud said that as a result of fixation, part of the libido, but not part of the personality, is attached to an object or its image, as a result of which the object begins to have an emotional charge for that individual, this was called cathexis.

In his famous work Melancholia, Freud says that the work of grief is that libido is gradually withdrawn from a loved but lost object.

But he did not indicate that this fixation of libido has the meaning of investment in the future. And this is very important! Essentially this is a new theory of love. Fixation does not occur because the object is simply liked; the subject may like many people of the opposite sex and other objects.

But no decisive choice occurs, the subject does not “bet” on this particular person.

If he makes a “bet,” this means that he firmly ties his destiny, his happiness, his future with this person. He invests the energy of his hopes and dreams into the future, hoping for a long life together, hoping to receive many dividends, for example, counting on sexual happiness, having and raising children, an interesting life together, social approval, etc.

No wonder lovers ask each other: “Do you love me?”, “Will you stop loving me?” and so on. They want to make sure that their investments are “profitable” and reliable, and that they will also invest in them. Moreover, I became convinced in therapeutic practice that investments control sexual desire, and not vice versa.

Investments disappear and attraction disappears.

Example 2. “Bouquet of flowers.”

A young man turned to me. “I can’t,” he says, “forget my first wife. She left me three years ago.

She married a foreigner, left the country, gave birth to a child. I was depressed for two years, I gave up my favorite sport, I didn’t want anything.

Then I got over it, I recently got married, but I can’t love my second wife as much as I did my first, I always see myself as the first. I’m even ashamed of my second wife, but I can’t help it.”

This means that you are still dependent on your first wife. You haven't let her go yet.

No, I’ve already suffered my share. I've already experienced everything in two years.

And we can easily check this.

How is this possible?

But imagine that your first wife is sitting on a chair here. How do you feel?

Nothing. I don't care.

Then you can easily tell her: “Goodbye, I wish you happiness in your personal life!

No, for some reason I can’t say these words.

Well, this means that you are addicted.

I explained to him the theory of investments and asked him to find an image of the feelings that he invested in his first wife, and which are still given to her. He said it was a beautiful bouquet of flowers.

Are these really your flowers?

Yes, these are my wonderful feelings that I gave to her.

Take them and let them enter your body wherever they want.

This bouquet entered my chest, I felt so good. The energy has returned. Somehow it’s easier to breathe, and your hands rise on their own. I couldn't raise my arms after she left.

Now look at this woman again (pointing to the chair).

It’s strange, now it’s just a woman, of which there are millions.

Can you now tell her: “Goodbye, I wish you happiness in your personal life.”

Yes, it's easy now.

Then say it and see what happens to the image.

I speak and see how her image moves away and becomes smaller. It completely disappeared, and it got even better.

Now look at the second wife.

Yes, now it's a different matter.

You can give her the bouquet then. However, as you wish.

No, why...

He was clearly in a hurry, and after a short goodbye he went home.

The return of the invested “capitals” back (into the body of the subject), when the destruction of the relationship has occurred, frees the subject and makes the beloved object neutral, the same as all other people. Neither Freud nor other famous psychoanalysts and therapists describe methods that would be specifically focused on returning the subject’s lost feelings or parts of the personality, otherwise everyone would have known about it long ago.

It is completely understandable why such methods were not created. Only the technology of emotional-imaginative therapy is suitable for this, since it allows you to present invested feelings in the form of an image and, through the return of this image to your own body, return lost resources. It is almost impossible to return feelings based only on verbal techniques.

Moreover, for most psychotherapists, the idea itself is not yet accessible due to the fact that the method in which feelings can be moved as an object, one can identify with them, accept them into one’s body or release them, contradicts their traditional ideas.

Let us explain with another example how this idea works within the framework of EOT.

Example 3. Golden lump.

A young man came to me to clarify his relationship with a girl. Their love began at the age of 15, it was strong and sincere. Even then they entered into a sexual relationship and were happy with each other. But the years passed, and it would have been time to get married, but he was a poor student and could not provide for his family.

Then she was offended and, abruptly breaking with her beloved, married a rich man. She gave birth to a child, but was not happy, she repented of her choice and soon began to seek restoration of relations with her former lover. She divorced her husband, but still her main aspirations remained money and career.

The young man no longer wanted reconciliation with her, but could not free himself from his previous feelings, could not resist her persistence, although he no longer trusted her love. Now he could support his family, but did not want to connect his life with his ex-girlfriend. At first I thought that he was simply expressing resentment and pride. Maybe we should help him forgive his unfaithful lover and reunite with her?

But he was firm in his intention to free himself from this emotional dependence. He was convinced of the girl’s low morality and believed that she was manipulating him. He could not understand how she could have previously neglected his wonderful feelings and caused him such pain.

He himself would never take the initiative to restore relations. The first session was used to clarify all the circumstances of the case and to make a final decision on what should be done.

At the beginning of the second meeting, the young man again confirmed that he had no intention of restoring the relationship, but needed help so that he would no longer be drawn to her, so that he would be freed from this dependence and suffering.

Following the theoretical ideas that emotional dependence rests only on those psychological “capitals” that a given subject “invested” in a loved one, I invited the client to create an image of these feelings in front of himself.

After thinking, the young man said that these feelings are like a huge golden ball, from which a thread sticks out, connecting it with a balloon above. We determined that this ball symbolizes the girl to whom he gave his feelings, hoping to keep her with the help of these feelings.

After this, I invited the client to absorb this lump, that is, his feelings, back into himself as his energy.

At first he did not understand how this could be done. I suggested that he invite them back into his body, but he couldn't. Suddenly he himself found a solution:

I must enter this room myself! Because he's bigger than me.

Well, do it.

In his imagination, he entered this lump and felt that previously lost feelings enveloped him from all sides, like a golden shining aura, they filled his entire body inside, and the ball flew off and hovered somewhere to the side.

These feelings even protect me; I feel strong and independent. Now these feelings belong to me, and I can freely dispose of them, I can direct them to someone else. And how could she neglect such wonderful feelings?

How do you feel about this girl now?

You know, I really don't care now. I don’t even want to drive a Mercedes in front of her to get revenge. I'm truly free.

We should meet again to make sure that the result is truly sustainable. May need some work.

No, I'm absolutely sure. If necessary, I will call you again.

He left me with a very confident and strong gait, he didn’t call again.

Comment.

This case, like the previous one and many others, shows that a subject can, with the help of conscious actions in relation to the image of his feelings, actually regain them, and thereby gain liberation from emotional dependence.

Traditionally, psychotherapists believe that a partner with whom the relationship has been destroyed should be mentally (and/or actually) forgiven and let go. However, it is not so easy to say goodbye, because the heart, soul and feelings still remain with the one to whom they were given, with whom they are connected.

Before you let go, you need to get your “investment” back, otherwise nothing will work out. Sometimes this happens spontaneously, but for the most part the problem of emotional dependence remains extremely difficult to solve, apparently due to a lack of understanding of the importance of this aspect and the lack of appropriate technologies.

Psychotherapists often suggest mentally tearing or cutting the binding thread, mentally driving away the ex-spouse, etc. These mechanical methods sometimes give liberation, but since it is not threads that bind people, but feelings, for the most part there is no solution, or this solution is partial and unstable.

The return of feelings and parts of the personality with the help of a visually represented image of these feelings or parts of the personality does not cause resistance, since the individual does not lose anything. There is also nothing morally reprehensible in this action, because it does not harm the object of love and does not drive it away or abandon it. However, after this it is quite possible to let go of the object, which is no longer endowed with an irresistible attraction.

However, the subject may have additional motives for not doing what the therapist encourages him to do, and this gives rise to new difficulties and features of the work. The therapist must learn to overcome or bypass the client's resistance on the path to his release.

Example 4. “Tearful Dove.”

The girl could not forget the young man who left her two years ago. Every evening she imagined that he was next to her, and it was painful. Of course, I asked her about the reasons for the breakup, and about the desirability and possibility of reconciliation. Everything said that it was necessary to finally say goodbye and let go of the former lover.

I immediately invited her to imagine that part of her personality or those feelings that she “invested” in her loved one, and which she lost with his departure. She immediately replied that it was a dove.

I explained that the dove usually symbolizes the soul, and asked if she was ready to return this dove, to accept it back as part of her personality? She confirmed that the dove she clearly imagined was indeed part of her personality, but for some reason he was afraid to go to her.

Why?

Because I'm clipping his wings.

Why are you doing this?

Well, of course, so that he doesn’t fly away.

This is the first difficulty. It was necessary to explain to the girl that the soul cannot fly away from itself, that it will still belong to her. And also that the more you hold someone captive, the more they break out.

All this was explained, but since experience is the criterion of truth, I suggested that, for the sake of experiment, she explain to the pigeon that the girl would no longer clip its wings. This statement had an effect, the dove already wanted to return to the girl, but was still afraid.

No assurances from the girl, which I pushed her to, helped. This is the second difficulty.

Carefully observing the client’s words and intonations, I suddenly realized that in fact, it was she herself who was afraid of the pigeon. She was afraid of his freedom, afraid that he might again lead her feelings with him. The same fear forced her to clip the dove’s wings, so this is a new and at the same time old difficulty, but a new approach is needed.

Then I suggested that the girl paradoxically tell the dove that she herself would no longer be afraid of it. The girl was surprised because she was convinced that the dove was afraid of her. Without explaining, I insisted that this was a paradoxical technique and that it should be tried.

She obeyed, and the dove immediately fluttered into her chest. The girl breathed much deeper and more freely, her eyes lit up, she felt better, and all her fears disappeared.

Now that she had introduced her former friend, she felt completely free from him. Now she could easily say goodbye to him and absolutely confidently confirmed that she was no longer suffering or experiencing addiction.

A week later, she once again confirmed the positivity and sustainability of this result.

Sometimes we just can't deal with certain people. However, often we have no choice and have to communicate with them. But even when we can stop communicating, we need to do it in a way that doesn't worsen the relationship. When interacting with people we don't like, we must consider both our own feelings and the feelings of those around us.

Steps

Keep your cool when a person is harassing you

Don't react. People often annoy us in order to get a reaction. Try to avoid non-verbal expression of your irritation and not lash out. Don't roll your eyes, make faces, mutter under your breath, or do anything else that might make the situation worse.

Change the subject. If you sense conflict brewing, changing the subject can be a good way to distract the person. Often, annoying people can be deliberately insolent or intractable because they view confrontation as a battle of ego. As soon as you smooth out the conflict, the person will no longer have the need for self-affirmation.

Remain calm and complacent. Your ability to tolerate annoying people is proportional to your emotional and mental stability. Relax and try to have a good time. If you notice that someone annoys you too often, consider if you can change something in your life to maintain a good mood.

Remember, sometimes you yourself can behave boorishly. Sometimes it is difficult for us to admit our own mistakes. If someone constantly complains about your behavior or asks for something that you don't think he/she deserves, it's worth considering that your negative attitude towards the person may not be justified. Listen to friends or family when they criticize your behavior to help you understand your mistakes.

Make the person leave you alone

Set a time for your departure. It will be much easier to end the conversation if you make it clear from the beginning that you won't be sticking around for long. Tell the person that you have an appointment or need to make a call. Let him know that you only have five or ten minutes left so he won't be surprised when you quickly retreat.

Start mentioning your departure. Most people take the hint that you're starting to pack up and start winding down the conversation. Signaling that you need to leave through body language can help you avoid awkward excuses to the other person for stopping the conversation.

Come up with a polite excuse. If you tell the person you don't have time, start getting ready, and he/she doesn't react at all, you need to directly state that you are leaving. Try to be polite and pretend that you are very sorry that this happened.

Ask someone for help. Agree with a friend about a signal so that he/she will come and pull you out of the conversation. Otherwise, try talking to someone standing nearby. The other person must realize that they are no longer part of the conversation and eventually leave.

Scream. If someone refuses to leave you alone, run to a crowded place and scream. Yell: “Leave me alone!” Fear of other people's interference will cause even particularly persistent people to retreat.

• This is the most extreme solution. Only resort to it if you feel your safety is at risk.

Restoring relationships

1. Point out the person's habits that irritate you. Don't be afraid to talk about your feelings. Instead of blaming the person for something, use "I" statements to explain how their behavior affects you. To do this, say: “I feel ______ when you do _______ because ______.”

   Ask the person why he behaves this way. If he demands a lot of attention, is constantly anxious, or is overly talkative, this may be due to his personal problems. Ask if something is wrong with the person. Talking can help him deal with this. If not, perhaps you yourself can help the person in some way.

   See if the person wants to change. After you have pointed out the person's mistakes, you must give him/her time to respond. Notice whether he/she wants to change his/her behavior and become a different person. Don't push too hard, or the person may start criticizing you back. If you've already spoken, let him digest the information.

2. Say you need a break. If a person continues to behave as if nothing had happened, and you think that you can no longer tolerate it, sit down and tell everything honestly. Say that your friendship is no longer satisfying and that you need to stay away from each other for a while. Show that it hurts you to say this, but that it will be better.

   • This will give the person more time to digest your complaints and try to correct them. This can also save your relationship from an unpleasant breakup, since if you accumulate negativity within yourself, sooner or later you will explode in anger and only make the situation worse.
   • Remember that you may be doing this person a favor. If everyone around you considers you an annoying person, would you like to know how to fix it?
   • Be polite and stick to "I" sentences. "I'm going through a difficult time right now, and I hate it when you ask personal questions because it reminds me of what happened. Can I be alone for a few weeks?"

: If you throw it into boiling water, the frog will realize the danger and jump out of the pot. If you heat the water gradually, the frog will not jump out and will cook. The message is clear: in everyone's life there will always be people who interfere, portend troubles and harm when you are trying to become a better person, but they do it so carefully that you may not notice the danger.

Such people - let's call them “toxic” or people who poison your life - can slow down your progress for a variety of reasons. They may think that you won't stay in their life if you succeed. Perhaps they feel that their shortcomings will be more visible against your background. Or maybe they just don't accept the possibility of change.

But the root causes matter far less than the immediate impact they have on you. Their anger, resentment, manipulation or cruelty undermines your strength. At any moment, you can find yourself among toxic friends, family, and colleagues who, consciously or unconsciously, hinder your happiness and personal growth. To feel good and happy, it is important to identify similar people in your environment and learn to manage the emotions they evoke in you.

So let's discuss how to recognize toxic people and how to navigate the complex process of getting rid of such people. Your future depends on it.

How to know if someone is making your life miserable

There are people who constantly pull you back - annoying, quarrelsome, constantly demanding something, or simply repulsive. But such people cannot be called poisoners in the strict sense of the word. They are just unpleasant individuals. These are the people you want to keep a little distance from, but there is no immediate need to cut them out of your life.

There is a wide variety of people who poison life. On the one hand, there's your old school friend who won't stop talking about how little time you spend together now. On the other hand, there is an ex-girlfriend who can still manipulate you, leading to attacks. Your friend may just be annoying, but your ex is most likely making your life miserable.

Of course, you will have to decide when to just keep your distance and when to cut the person out of your life. Your sister's patience is probably much greater than that of a colleague, but both sisters and colleagues are different.

Now let's talk about the real ill-wishers - those who infect and control your life. Let's list a few classic signs of people who poison life.

1. They are trying to control you. It may sound strange, but people who cannot control their own lives often seek to control yours. Their toxic influence manifests itself in attempts to control others, both openly and secretly, through sophisticated manipulation.
2. They don't respect your personal boundaries. If you constantly tell someone not to do a certain thing to you, and they continue anyway, they are most likely making your life miserable. Respect for other people's boundaries is natural for a well-mannered adult. And the people who make your life miserable profit by violating boundaries.
3. They take but give nothing. The ability to take and give is the key. Sometimes you need a helping hand, sometimes your friend needs a helping hand, but you give and take in equal measure. But not with people who poison your life - they will take everything they can from you, and for as long as you have enough.
4. They are always right. They will always find a way to be right, even when they are not. They extremely rarely admit that they messed up, made a mistake, or expressed themselves incorrectly.
5. They are not sincere. This is not about exaggeration, saving face, or other types of white lies. We are talking about clear and repeated dishonest behavior.
6. They love the role of the victim. People who make your life miserable take pleasure in playing the role of a victim against whom the whole world is opposed. They are looking for a reason to be offended, insulted, ignored, although in fact they do not feel anything like that. They like to make excuses, give seemingly reasonable explanations, or completely deny their guilt in what happened.
7. They don't take responsibility. Partially appears due to the desire to avoid responsibility. “Things are just the way they are”, “We are not like this, life is like this” - phrases illustrating the attitude of the poisoners to life.

Doesn't remind you of anyone? People who make your life miserable can go unnoticed for years. Until you stop to reflect on your experience with them.

Now let's talk about how to get rid of such people.

Why is it so important to get rid of people who make your life miserable?

It is very rare when ill-wishers completely interfere with all your attempts to change for the better, but it does happen. Basically they slow down your progress.

The main thing is, do you want a person in your life who is actively preventing you from making your life better?

The answer is, of course, no. This may be hard for you to accept, but not until you realize the impact his company is having on you.

Under the influence of a person who is poisoning your life, you may reconsider an important decision. You may be sad, feel uncomfortable, and frankly ashamed of your... You may even adopt some of the poisoners' less-than-best qualities, such as becoming jealous of someone else's happiness. Because all toxic people have one thing in common: they want you to become like them.

Most often, we simply do not realize that someone’s behavior is poisoning our lives. If you have such a boss, then you understand how it works: his behavior makes you irritable and embittered, you lash out at your subordinates, then the employees begin to conflict more and more with each other, and then they transfer this irritation to their friends. And before you knew it, the poison had already spread.

How to get rid of people who truly poison your life

1. Accept that it may be a long goodbye. Cleaning up toxic elements is not always easy. If a person did not respect your personal boundaries before, he will not respect them now. He may come back even after you tell him to go away. You may have to say this several times before he finally leaves for good.
2. Don't feel like you have to explain anything. Any explanation you give is more likely to yourself. Say how you feel, but in a way that makes it clear that it's not up for discussion. You can do it even simpler: gently and calmly tell the person that you no longer want to see him in your life. How much or how little explanation is needed is up to you. Different relationships require different approaches.
3. Speak in a public place. It’s not surprising that people who make your life miserable can be confrontational or even cruel. Having a public conversation can greatly reduce the possibility of conflict. And if something goes wrong, you can get up and leave.
4. Block such people on social networks. Technology makes distancing more difficult, so don't leave an open window through which ill-wishers can terrorize or cajole you. You have defined your boundaries. Stick to them. This includes preventive measures, such as limiting contacts on social networks.
5. Don't argue, just establish new boundaries. It may be tempting to get into arguments and conflicts with people who are making your life miserable, but that's exactly what they want. If they try to come back, avoid the discussion. Set your boundaries firmly and then end the conversation. You are not trying to convince the person to leave you alone. This is not a negotiation. So, as they say, don't feed the troll.
6. Consider maintaining distance rather than breaking up completely. Remember, we talked about a person who can hardly be called a poison to life, but nevertheless he is unpleasant to you? You don’t need to completely cut people like this out of your life. You just need to keep your distance, dividing your time between communicating with them and your personal affairs.

Doing all of the above is not always necessary. It all depends on the specific situation. Sometimes it is enough to simply make a decision and increase the distance, especially if we are talking about friends and colleagues, this does not require a serious conversation. Remember that you don't have to explain anything to anyone. You can simply disappear slowly and quietly from a person's life so that you stop feeling its toxic effects. Relationships with such people are like a fire: stop feeding it food, and it will go out by itself.

But there is one scenario when you have to act differently. We are talking about relationships with blood relatives.

What to do if the person who is making your life miserable is a member of your family

There are no simple recipes or standard answers that will suit everyone.

Breaking off a relationship with a relative who is poisoning your life can be the most important break in your life. Family directly influences your thoughts, behavior, and choices. But relatives are not your owners simply by virtue of blood ties. Kinship is not a license to ruin your life. Remember this.

That's why increasing the distance between the person who is poisoning your life and you is the best solution, and it doesn't matter whether it's physical or emotional distance.

But in the case of relatives, you will have to make some concessions. You can distance yourself emotionally, but you must recognize that you will still have to interact with this person (for example, meeting for holiday dinners or caring for parents together). To maintain distance, you will have to learn to separate practical activities from the emotional component - you will agree to take part in this person's life when it is really necessary, but do not allow him to negatively influence you.

It is especially important to make informed decisions regarding family members. So ask yourself: What kind of return are you getting from your family members? How are they going? Can you really completely cut off all ties with a relative who is making your life miserable? You may answer these questions and decide that you need to end the relationship permanently. Or you can adjust your behavior according to the situation. The main thing is to take time to think about what is happening and the possible consequences of a wrong decision.

Cutting a family member out of your life is not easy. But it may be the most liberating decision you ever make.

What is the most important thing about getting rid of people who are poisoning your life? This is a message to yourself. You tell yourself, “I have value.” You put your happiness above other people's problems. And if one day you realize how some people can destroy your sense of self-worth, it will become more difficult for them to penetrate your life.