Love is an extremely subjective feeling and concept, but everyone who has fallen into its network can confidently say that there is nothing more beautiful and desirable in the world. However, how not to be mistaken in your feelings and recognize the first “symptoms” of love fever? It's no secret that infatuation, infatuation, passion and love have similar characteristics. And it is extremely difficult to see the difference, because the difference lies deep inside us. How to understand whether you still love a person or not? Let's answer a few important issues and we will understand what is hidden behind the irresistible craving for the chosen one.

First of all, you need to think about why this question arose in the first place. Where did this idea come from? It's quite simple. At the beginning of a relationship, when the candy-bouquet romance “blooms and smells,” the girl or guy does not doubt their own feelings at all - we are firmly convinced that we love this person!

However, after a few months (or weeks) rose-colored glasses subside, and the lover begins to wonder how his chosen one corresponds to the ideal. Are emotions real? Maybe it's just sympathy? In this case, feelings fade into the background, and the calculating mind is in the center. He seeks to cool the fervor of our emotions, taking care, among other things, of a heart that may break. The voice of reason is a good phenomenon, indicating a healthy human psyche.

The concept of “love” is unique and individual, since everyone loves in their own way. However, common features are common to all people without exception: love is something good, warm, expensive, associated with a feeling of comfort when your chosen one is nearby.

Signs of love

Finding out whether you really love a person is not always easy or simple. What to do? Take off your rose-colored glasses and try to look at your own relationships from the outside with maximum honesty. There is no need to listen to friends and “well-wishers”! So, the symptoms of true love:

1. Unselfishness. True love- a selfless feeling. If a man or woman is looking for benefits, constantly waiting for the chosen one to do something for him or, especially, help him financially, there is no need to talk about love. These are not emotions, but use.
2. Sexual attraction. Can true love exist without sex? It’s difficult to say, since everyone hears about so-called platonic love, which does not imply physical contact. However, many psychologists are confident that love is always combined with sexual attraction, which is completely natural. Along with the desire to possess, a person in love wants to see and hear the chosen one, to be close just like that, not because of the satisfaction of “animal” instincts.
3. Unconditional acceptance. To love is to accept a partner with all his advantages and disadvantages. A person in love does not seek to remake the chosen one to suit his patterns. Do you want to change something about your dear friend? Most likely, this is not love.
4. Trust. The ability to trust a loved one is an important indicator of true love. If you are used to sharing your problems and joys with your partner, you are not afraid that you will not be understood or laughed at, this is SHE. Incomplete trust is one of the signs that you still do not love this person.
5. Consistency. True love differs from falling in love in that it is not influenced by any external circumstances. For example, if relatives and friends oppose the chosen one, loving person will defend his opinion and feeling. In addition, real emotions do not change plus for minus, even if the partner turned out to be far from perfect.
6. Sacrifice. Love implies a willingness to sacrifice oneself for the sake of the one whom the heart considers the best person in the world. Sacrifice does not imply the desire to receive anything in return, the most important thing is moral satisfaction from the happiness of a loved one.

Several ways to understand if you are in love

Of course, we would need some kind of indicator that would allow us to determine whether it is love or not. However, wise scientists have not yet invented such a device, which is why we will “identify” interest, affection, sex, sympathy and love according to certain signs and parameters.

Method No. 1. Test

Can't understand your own experiences and feelings? Answer a few simple questions:

1. Do you think about him (her) before falling asleep, do you want to wish him pleasant dreams?
2. Are you trying to make him happy?
3. Do you feel good and calm next to your chosen one?
4. When you think about him, smile, blush and get excited?
5. Are you counting the hours until you meet him?
6. Do you consider him the most the best man(by a woman)
7. You know about all his shortcomings, but continue to accept him for who he is?
8. Does being separated from him for a long time worry you?

If you answered a confident “yes” to all the questions, congratulations, your feelings are sincere. If you feel unsure about the answers, it’s worth thinking about it. Remember that the test should be taken in your normal state, avoiding special joys and quarrels.

Method number 2. Pros and cons

A common psychological method is to divide a piece of paper into two columns and write down positive and negative qualities your chosen one. This way you can get your real attitude towards him and a vision of his personality.

Analyze the number of pros and cons. What is your loved one made of? Advantages or disadvantages? Predominance positive qualities- another joyful evidence of your love and good attitude towards your partner.

Method number 3. Meditation

It is more comfortable to sit in a soft chair, on a carpet that is pleasant to your body - you will have to spend half an hour on it. In addition, there should be no distractions or extraneous thoughts. It is easier to enter a “trance” by focusing on your own breathing.

Having calmed down and detached yourself from extraneous thoughts, imagine this person. Did it work? How do you feel? Do you want to come up, kiss, hug, or run away? Decide on all your feelings (negative and positive) that arise when the image of your loved one appears.

Method number 4. “He is no more”

Quite a cruel, but effective technique. Try to imagine that your chosen one is no longer with you (no need to get hung up on this idea). Or perhaps you've never dated at all. What are you thinking? Are such representations comfortable? Or maybe they only bring you pain and discomfort? We understand the significance of a thing or person when we no longer possess it. The result of reflection will be an understanding of what feelings you have for your chosen one.

Love or affection?

Another common question: how can you understand whether you love a person or is it just affection? First of all, you need to understand that pure relationships and emotions are almost never found. Love, jealousy, sexual attraction, desire, attachment - we experience all this at the same time, but only in different proportions.

As we said above, selfless care is considered an important sign of true love. Attachment is considered a kind of psychological dependence on a chosen one or partner.

The main feature of attachment is not selflessness and happiness, but dependence and sometimes the suffering that a dependent person experiences. If attachment is accompanied by special feelings that deprive a person of freedom, we can talk about psychological obsession.

So, understanding your true emotions and experiences is sometimes quite difficult. But if you are firmly convinced of the correctness of your own choice, you should not doubt your chosen one. Love is the most beautiful feeling that should be enjoyed, especially if it is mutual. Love and be loved!

Hello, I am Nadezhda Plotnikova. Having successfully completed her studies at SUSU as a specialized psychologist, she devoted several years to working with children with developmental problems and consulting parents on issues of raising children. I use the experience gained, among other things, in creating articles of a psychological nature. Of course, I in no way claim to be the ultimate truth, but I hope that my articles will help dear readers deal with any difficulties.

A test to determine whether a man loves you. This questionnaire takes into account the most accurate signs of a man’s love and will help answer the question: “Does a man love me?” However, it also reveals your own psychological problems and illusions.

The exclusivity of the test lies in the fact that it not only scans a man’s interest and sympathy for you, but also analyzes your personal difficulties and psychological conflicts. Very often, we see something that is not there and imagine that a man is in love with us, although this is not the case. Answer the questions accurately and find out: is a man in love with you? Does he have sympathy and interest in you?

How to win a man's heart? Millions of girls ask themselves this question every day. In order to soberly assess your chances and efforts, you need to understand whether the guy has sympathy for you? This test will help you understand whether your chosen one likes you.

Some women, not knowing the answer to the question “Does a man love me?” spend a lot of time on dreams, fantasies and waste their time. They look for signs of hidden attention in simple everyday things, justify his inattention, inactivity, and even simply ignore him - just to remain with the hope that the man loves her. This test not only determines whether your chosen one likes you, but also diagnoses the presence of false illusions and self-deception!

Self-deception in the question: Does a man love me?

The main ways in which women unconsciously deceive themselves, entertain the illusion, hoping that the chosen one also has sympathy and wants to meet:

1. The excuse for ignoring him is “the man’s hidden fears of relationships”;
2. The feeling that the success of a relationship depends only on the woman’s desire: “I don’t really like him... But if I want, he will be mine”;
3. Seeing a man’s desire for a meeting, even if he doesn’t want it;
4. The feeling that you need to be more active in the relationship and then “certainly the man will be mine.”

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Love is small word with great meaning, a meaning that is a unique experience for everyone and can mean very different things from one person to another. A man can say he loves a woman and doesn't feel it...or he can feel it strongly but can't say it. Knowing how he feels is much more difficult than just hearing the words. Luckily, how much he loves you is something that can be measured and quantified, which is why we created this test.

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Loves! And maybe... he still uses it

At first glance, it seems that his intentions are pure and transparent, and the only driving force that brought you together is love, which many people have heard about, but few have met. He does not try to find any obvious benefit in your relationship, values ​​your person unusually highly, brushes off those who are ready to point out your shortcomings to him (sometimes he even does this in a somewhat exaggerated manner), and is happy that he is simply nearby and can blow away the dust from you. He is not at all indifferent to what is in your soul - what you think about, what you worry about, what plans you make.

Without doubting too much the sincerity of his feelings, still ask yourself - are there any motives that lie beyond the surface? Maybe you got a hero whose meaning in life comes down to constantly saving someone? Not a bad option, by the way, if you feel a kinship of souls with a kitten named Woof, who kept asking, “Where are these troubles? They're probably waiting for me." Maybe for him you are part of the image corresponding to his status? Then it makes sense to think about increasing your beauty budget. Even if you haven’t found a single secret reason, we don’t advise you to rest on your laurels and think that this man will definitely not get away from you. It will get away if you stop meeting his expectations.