What is effective communication. Effective communication - as a means of self-expression

Introduction

“The ability to communicate with people is a commodity, and I will pay more for such a skill than for anything else in the world.”

(J. Rockefeller)

Man is a “social being”. This means that he lives among people and carries out his life activities (achieves goals, satisfies needs, works) only through interaction, communication - contact, indirect or imaginary.

In communication as a process of successive mutually oriented actions, reactions, and behavioral acts in time and space, information is exchanged and interpreted, mutual perception, mutual understanding, mutual assessment, empathy, the formation of likes or dislikes, the nature of relationships, beliefs, views, psychological influence, resolution of contradictions, implementation joint activities. Thus, each of us in our lives, interacting with other people, acquires practical skills and abilities in the field of communication.

Considering the process of a person’s cognition of a person in communication, one of the founders of Soviet psychology, S.L. Rubinstein wrote: “In everyday life When communicating with people, we are guided by their behavior, since we seem to “read” it, that is, we decipher the meaning of its external data and reveal the meaning of the resulting text in a context that has its own internal psychological plan. This “reading” occurs fluently, since in the process of communicating with those around us, a certain research is developed, a more or less automatically functioning subtext to their behavior.”

Effective communication is the only thing that can be truly important for all people living in a society. Not thinking about effective communication while you are communicating is like crossing the road in a busy place without looking both ways.

Effective Communication:

    promotes mutual understanding;

    directs the flow of information in the right direction;

    helps people overcome barriers to open discussion;

    encourages interlocutors to take action to achieve their goals;

    communicates information, encouraging employees to think differently and act more effectively.

This work describes the most significant techniques and technologies effective communication.

Effective Communication

Communication plays a huge role in the life of society. Without it, the process of education, formation, personality development, interpersonal contacts, as well as management, service, scientific work and other activities in all areas where the transmission, assimilation and exchange of information are necessary.

Communication plays an important role in a person’s mastery of cultural and universal values ​​and social experience. In the process of communication, this specific form of human interaction with other people, there is a mutual exchange of ideas, ideas, interests, moods, attitudes, etc.

Increasing the importance of communication in modern world requires communication skills. This means that communication needs to be taught, communication needs to be learned, which presupposes the need for deep knowledge of this phenomenon, its patterns and characteristics that manifest themselves in people’s activities.

It is proposed to base the theory of speech culture as a special linguistic discipline on the following definition of this discipline. Speech culture is such a set and such an organization of linguistic means that, in a certain communication situation, while observing modern language norms and communication ethics, make it possible to ensure the greatest effect in achieving the set communicative tasks.

The effectiveness of communication is the “final product”, the creation of which should be facilitated by the theory of speech culture in its practical application. By effective communication we understand the optimal way to achieve set communication goals. The communicative goals of communication are closely related to the basic functions of language.

Effective communication technologies are those methods, techniques and means of communication that fully ensure mutual understanding and mutual empathy (empathy is the ability to put oneself in the place of another person (or object), the ability to empathize) of communication partners.

Communication itself, as a complex socio-psychological process, is characterized by three main content aspects: communicative, interactive and perceptual. Each of them has relative independence and provides certain goals for the subjects of communication:

The communicative aspect reflects the desire of communication partners to exchange information;

The interactive aspect is manifested in the need for them to comply with established norms of communication, as well as in their desire to actively influence each other in a certain direction;

The perceptual aspect expresses the need of the subjects of communication for mutual empathy, sympathy, and compassion.

A special place in the content of technologies for effective communication in conflict is occupied by the goals of the conflict participants. First of all, this is due to a significant contradiction in the very process of such communication. On the one hand, rivals especially need to understand each other correctly. On the other hand, such mutual understanding is hampered by the lack of proper trust between them, their “closedness” towards each other, due to conscious or unconscious self-defense in a conflict. Therefore, to ensure constructive communication in a conflict, it is desirable (if possible) to create an atmosphere of mutual trust in this process and to form a goal for cooperation.

The main content of effective communication technologies ultimately comes down to compliance with certain rules and norms of communication.

Basic rules for effective communication:

    Concentrate on the speaker and his message.

    Check whether you correctly understood both the general content of the received information and its details.

    Tell the other party in paraphrased form the meaning of the information received.

    While receiving information, do not interrupt the speaker, do not give advice, do not criticize, do not summarize, and do not be distracted by preparing an answer. This can be done after receiving information and clarifying it.

    Make sure you are heard and understood. Follow the sequence of information delivery. Without verifying the accuracy of the information received by your partner, do not proceed to new messages.

    Maintain an atmosphere of trust, mutual respect, and show empathy for your interlocutor.

    Use nonverbal means of communication: frequent eye contact; nodding the head as a sign of understanding and others that are conducive to constructive dialogue techniques.

To communicate effectively, you need to know some techniques, because... many of them operate at the subconscious level.

A few tips for effective communication:

- "Rule of three twenty":

    20 sec. you are being evaluated.

    20 sec. how and what you started saying.

    20 cm of smile and charm.

6 rules of Gleb Zheglov:

    Show sincere interest in the interlocutor.

    Smile.

    Remember the person’s name and don’t forget to repeat it in conversation from time to time.

    Be able to listen.

    Conduct a conversation in the circle of interests of your interlocutor.

    Treat him with respect.

How to increase the usefulness of a contact:

    Be observant;

    Give a compliment;

    Talk about your interlocutor's problems.

Rules for effective communication according to Black:

    Always insist on the truth.

    Building messages is simple and clear.

    Don't embellish, don't overcharge.

    Remember that 1/2 of the audience are women.

    Make communication fun and avoid boredom and routine.

    Control the form of communication and avoid extravagance.

    Take the time to find out the general opinion.

    Remember the need for continuous communication and finding out common opinion.

    Try to be convincing at every stage of communication.

As a result you will get:

    Formal contact develops into normal human communication.

    You will win over your interlocutor.

    You will increase your self-esteem.

Let's look at some of the effective communication techniques and the importance of using them in more detail.

First impression (first 20 seconds)

The first impression of a person depends 38% on the sound of the voice, 55% on visual sensations (body language) and only 7% on the verbal component. Of course, the first impression is not always the final verdict, but it is important that from the very beginning communication is built on its basis. Therefore, it is important to be able to make a good impression on others.

To safely get through the “minefield” of the first 20 seconds, you need to use the “Rule of Three Pluses.”

Experts have noticed: in order to win over your interlocutor from the very beginning of an acquaintance or conversation, you need to give him at least three psychological “pluses”, in other words, give pleasant “gifts” to his Child three times (The same applies to the end of a conversation or meeting).

There are, of course, many possible “pluses”, but the most universal of them are: a compliment, a smile, the name of the interlocutor and raising his importance.

Compliment

At first glance, a compliment is the simplest thing in communication. But to do it masterfully is the highest art.

There are three types of compliments:

1. Indirect compliment. We praise not the person himself, but what is dear to him: a hunter - a gun, a “mad” on dogs - his pet, a parent - a child, etc. It is enough, when you go to a female boss’s office, to casually notice how tastefully the furnishings are chosen and how comfortable you feel here, in order to earn some favor with yourself.

2. Compliment “minus-plus”. We first give the interlocutor a small “minus”. For example, “Perhaps I cannot say that you are a good worker... You are an indispensable specialist for us!” After the “minus”, a person is lost and is ready to be indignant, and then, in contrast, something very flattering is said to him. The psychological state is reminiscent of the feelings of a person balancing on the edge of an abyss: first - horror from the thought of death, and then - indescribable joy: “Alive!” Psychologists consider such a compliment to be the most emotional and memorable, but, like everything powerful, it is risky. If the “minus” turns out to be stronger than the “plus”, the consequences could be disastrous for us.

3. The person is compared to something most precious to the person giving the compliment. “I would like to have a son as responsible as you!” This compliment is the subtlest and most pleasant for the interlocutor. But the scope of its application is limited:

    In order not to look artificial, it is necessary to have close and trusting relationships between the interlocutors.

    A partner should know how important to us is what we are comparing with.

The hardest thing about a compliment is to respond to it appropriately. This cannot be done right away, otherwise the person, even if he is not offended, will not want to compliment us another time. The general scheme may be as follows: “It’s thanks to you!” All art consists in the ability to vary it gracefully. In other words, it is necessary to return the psychological “plus” to the person who gave it to us. At the same time, it is important to praise the interlocutor for his positive qualities, and not because he is so good: he praised us, noticed the good in us.

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What helps and what hinders communication?

The main goal of communication between people is to achieve mutual understanding. But this is not easy to do. Why is it easy for us to communicate with some people, but difficult with others? Why do we get along with some people, but always quarrel with others? It is clear that it is much easier to establish relationships with a person with whom there are so-called points of contact. Before eliminating disagreements, it is necessary to find out their causes, and only after that establish relationships with the interlocutor.
In the art of communication, it is very important to be able to listen and understand the person you are talking to. By explaining to people your intentions and the reasons from which you proceed, you will be able to prevent many misunderstandings, quarrels and conflicts. Honesty in a conversation with an interlocutor often turns out to be the only way out from a conflict situation. But the truth should be expressed not in order to humiliate the interlocutor, but, on the contrary, in order to elevate him in his own eyes and clarify your position.

What hinders and what facilitates communication?

The reasons for misunderstanding between people can be different: political, religious views, worldview, psychological characteristics. However, the main reason lies in the inability to hear the interlocutor.
The most important part of the communication process is listening. If a person listens carefully to his interlocutor, it means he is well-mannered, understands the speaker’s problem and, as it were, helps him correctly formulate his thoughts.
The communication process is complex, it is influenced by various factors: mood, combination of circumstances, a person’s character, his sociability or, conversely, shyness.
Depending on the type of communication, formal or informal, it is necessary to choose the right manner of behavior, tone, gestures, words and expressions. Informal communication is communication at home, with parents and friends; formal - at work, while studying, with unfamiliar people.
In communication, we often admit things that interfere with mutual understanding. This is the use of offensive words and expressions, offensive nicknames, unnecessary abbreviations.

Signs of attention that can calm and have a lasting impact help improve interpersonal relationships. “Hello”, “thank you”, “please”, “sorry”... - these simple words have power over our mood. It is very important that they are always present in people’s communication at work, in public places, and used in the family.

So what is communication culture?

If a person expresses his thoughts competently, knows how to behave, and treats his interlocutor with respect, we say that this person masters the culture of communication. There are rules that, when followed, help to establish good relationships with people:

* Communication as equals, without rudeness and servility.
* Respect for the personal opinion of the interlocutor.
* Lack of desire to find out who is right and who is wrong.
* Communication at the level of requests, not orders.
* Search for compromise solutions.
* The ability to appreciate the decision of another.
* Ability to accept the experiences of others.

If a person does not know how to enter into a conversation, then he should choose any interesting topic for conversation and a time when the person being addressed is not busy with any work.
You should always remember that the other person is not like you, and you need to be able to look at things through his eyes, especially in conflict situations.
Respectful treatment of a person is impossible without respect for his point of view, even if it does not agree with yours. You can cultivate a respectful attitude towards people only if you learn to see individuality in each person, that is, those character traits that are unique to him.
Each of us is worthy of respect. By respecting another, you respect yourself, so if you have a bad relationship with someone, it is up to you to make an effort to put it in order.

Psychologists give good advice which is as follows:
Don't forget about the interests of your interlocutor. Your lively and sincere interest in what he is interested in will make him excited and enthusiastic.
There are several important rules conducting an open and honest conversation with an “uncomfortable interlocutor”, which both adults and adolescents need to know:

* Use “language-I”. Starting a phrase with the words: “From my point of view...” or “The way I see it...”, you will soften the conversation and show the interlocutor that you are expressing only your point of view, without claiming to be the ultimate truth. Thus, you recognize his right to have his own opinion. Surely they will listen to you much calmer and more attentively.
* Try to talk about a specific incident or behavior without making generalizations. For example, generalizations like:
“There was never a time when you came home on time (did your homework).”
This start of the conversation will give the teenager the opportunity to escape from the problem being discussed. He will begin to remember and prove that he once did something on time.
* Try to show your interlocutor that his behavior primarily interferes with himself. In order to create the conditions under which an adult or teenager would want to change their behavior, it is necessary to try to explain how much they are missing out on in life because of their own behavior.
* Invite your interlocutor to change their behavior. Explain to him what exactly he can do in this situation in order to correct it. It is possible that since you do not want to offend him, it will be quite difficult for you to tell him the truth. However, remember: if you remain silent, you can harm him.

When talking to a teenager or an adult, do not expect that they will immediately understand you or agree with you. If your interlocutor takes offense at you in a conversation, do not be afraid to patiently explain your point of view to him again. Pay close attention to his reaction to your words. Try to achieve mutual understanding, use a return to what was said, ask again and assent, do not forget about clarifying questions and summing up what you heard...
Of course, such a relationship may seem like a long process to some, but all this will take much less time, effort and emotions than action-reaction type communication, since such a conversation does not produce any result at all.
More often than not, honesty is the best policy in dealing with people. It's amazing how often we start conversations with clever strategies and tactics, forgetting to try to just get it straight first.
Honest dialogue is the most effective, simple and reliable means of turning conflict into cooperation.


WHAT IS INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION

WHAT IS INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION?

There are not so many words that could be used to describe the process of communication between two people.conversation, conversation, dyadic communication (that is, communication between two). In the following discussion we will use them as synonyms. Accordingly, we will call the people taking part in this process interlocutors, speaker and listener, or communication partners (after all, in order to communicate well, partnerships must be established between people).

It is perhaps difficult to imagine a greater variety of life situations than the one that develops when two people come into contact with each other. This is a conversation between a boss and a subordinate, a meeting between a doctor and a patient, and a conversation between a student and a student. Naturally, each of them is characterized by its own special manifestations. For example, for a conversation between a boss and a subordinate, it is usually necessary to maintain a sufficiently large spatial distance (at least 1.5 m) and avoid long direct glances.

Communication between lovers is completely different. An increase in the spatial distance between them indicates that they are in a quarrel; most often they want to touch each other. Data from psychological experiments show that no one looks into each other's eyes for as long as lovers. Their views serve as confirmation of mutual love, the desire for intimacy and trust.

Of course, the parameters that we used in this example (spatial proximity and direction of gaze) do not exhaust the specifics of such situations. You can add many others to them: intonation and pauses in speech, the most frequently used words, etc.<...>

We will consider such communication between two people, where at least one of its participants consciously and actively seeks to create conditions for the most successful interaction or unconsciously uses the arsenal of means of communication available to him. What means can he resort to?

Comparing the situations described above (communication between lovers and a conversation between a boss and a subordinate), we have already mentioned some of them; we will now try to characterize them in more detail. In the most general view means of communication can be divided into two large groups - verbal and non-verbal. The first group includes everything that is related to speech, i.e. how and what people say to each other. The second group will include facial expressions and gestures, postures, glances, organization of communication space, etc.

Of course, speech plays the main role in communication. In the process of “speaking,” literally everything is important: how the interlocutor is addressed, what is said first and what then, whether the words correspond to the tone of the statements, etc. It is not without reason that ancient philosophers noted that conducting a conversation is a real art. It's amazing that people, knowing about their inability publicly perform and strive in every possible way learn this, they practically do not think about whether they manage to successfully communicate with people around them - friends, colleagues, relatives, etc. And yet, how often does it happen in life that we want to say one thing, but, without realizing it, we say something else or simply cannot find the words to express some important thought or feeling.

The most important nonverbal component of the communication process is the ability to listen. When a person listens carefully to another person, literally everything about him - eyes, posture, facial expression - is directed towards the speaker, which, in turn, influences the interlocutor, helps him formulate his thoughts, open up, and be as sincere as possible. Absent-mindedness, indifference, and an indifferent facial expression can lead to the opposite result. But, of course, the conversation process is also influenced by many other “non-verbal little things”, such as the time and place where it occurs, its duration, etc.

IN social psychology There are many typologies of communication that use a variety of bases - duration, positions of participants, features of their interaction, etc. Since there is still no single universal typology, it seems that it would be optimal for us to identify the most frequently encountered everyday Situations. We include among them: 1) business communication, 2) educational influence, 3) diagnostic conversation and 4) intimate and personal communication.

Business communication– these are situations when the goal of interaction is to achieve some clear agreement or agreement. Most often, such interaction occurs between people who do not have close interpersonal relationships with each other (between colleagues, two businessmen, a boss and a subordinate, etc.), and the status of each partner in relation to the other is clearly defined, that is, there are generally accepted norms and ideas characterizing what each of them can demand and expect from the other, and violation of such rules will be seen as something unusual and most likely interfering with communication. In this kind of situation, the subject or reason that led to communication is important, without which a business conversation cannot take place at all.

Under educational communication we will mean situations in which one of the participants purposefully influences the other, quite clearly imagining the desired result, i.e. knowing what he wants to convince the interlocutor of, what he wants to teach him, etc. Typically, this kind of conversation is possible when one of the communication partners (the teaching partner) has situationally or permanently greater authority and knowledge than the other. Or, which sometimes makes such situations especially difficult, the teaching partner has to achieve the necessary authority in the eyes of the other during the course of the influence itself.

Diagnostic There will be communication, the purpose of which is to form a certain idea about the interlocutor or obtain some information from him. This is the communication between the head of the personnel department and a person applying for a job, a doctor with a patient, etc. Here, as in the previous case, the partners are in different positions: one asks, the other answers. Of course, in order to receive a full answer, the questioner must be able to ask questions correctly, taking into account his own status and the status of the answerer, his readiness and ability to give appropriate answers, etc.

Intimate and personal communication in many ways unique and specific. It is possible only when the partners within the situation feel like equals and are equally interested in establishing and maintaining trusting and deep contact. Most often, such communication occurs between close people and is largely the result of previous relationships.

<…> Meanwhile, it is characterized by a number of very specific features.

First of all, it is characterized by such interaction between interlocutors with each other, when each of them is in the field of view of the other and therefore any reaction - posture, glance, gesture - can be easily noticed and taken into account by the interlocutor.<...>

Both in a group discussion situation and in public speaking, the success of interaction does not depend as much on how ready and willing both parties are to interact with each other, as in the case of two people.In a large audience, there is always a possibility that some group of people will be ready to listen to information that is not very interesting or already familiar, but when there is only one person in front of you, you have to take into account his views and tastes as accurately as possible, otherwise communication may not work out. That is why in situations of dyadic communication, manifestations of mutual interest, friendliness and trust are especially important. But not everyone manages to find the correct form of expression, especially when communication partners are in unequal positions.<...>

An important feature of dyadic communication is that both interlocutors take turns in the roles of speaker and listener, so any pause or any “speech” should not be too long, otherwise it may interfere with the conversation. Each partner has their own time limit. And if one of them talks too much and for too long, interest in what he says most often weakens. In the same way, the passivity and silence of the partner will not contribute to the success of the conversation.

The specificity of dyadic communication is also due to the fact that its character is largely determined by the formal roles in which the interlocutors find themselves. Moreover, although the number of participants is minimal, it is here that normative prescriptions and stereotypes are often especially rigid and interfere with communication. For example, in a personal conversation, the gender of the interlocutor has a fairly large influence on the perception of what he says and on the partner’s attitude towards him.

In the experiment, subjects were asked to listen to the text of a recording, where in one version a man and in the other a woman talked about themselves and their lives. Regardless of the gender of the narrator, the text was absolutely identical. But when, after listening, the subjects were asked to express their attitude towards this person, the woman was rated much higher than the man. Interpreting the results obtained, the authors came to the conclusion that, based on ideas about masculinity that are widespread in culture, a man who tells something about himself to the “first person he meets” (which in a sense were the subjects) is perceived as a weak, neurotic and dependent, while a woman performing the same action is perceived as open and trusting.

We can continue the list of specific features inherent in dyadic communication, but perhaps it’s time for us to move on to a description of the communication process itself and the factors that determine it. Let’s focus on the simplest communication situation – conversation.

HOW TO ORGANIZE AND CONDUCT A CONVERSATION?

If we briefly formulate possible recommendations for organizing a conversation, they will sound like this: the place and time of the conversation should correspond as much as possible to its goals and nature.

It seems to us sufficient to follow some simple recommendations:

First. There should be nothing too bright or unexpected in the conversation areas if it is necessary for the interlocutor to listen with close attention and not be distracted.

Second. The timing of the meeting is usually determined by the nature of the conversation to be had. The more personal it is, the more the wishes of both partners will have to be taken into account. Often one of them, more interested in the conversation, is forced to focus on the conditions that are offered to him. If you yourself find yourself in such a situation, do not rush to be offended or, in any case, demonstrate your offense. This can make an unpleasant impression on the interlocutor and interfere with the conversation.

Third. In order for the conversation to be successful, it is important to correctly organize the position of people relative to each other. Participants in communication, without realizing it, strive to occupy a certain place in space that corresponds to their subjective status. Thus, during a psychological experiment, specialists with different professional status were asked to take the seats in a large hall that they liked best. It turned out that the “bosses” try to sit in the center, so that they can clearly see and hear the entire audience. Those who perceive their status as low sit somewhere on the side or on the edge, as if by their very location indicating that they do not pretend to anything. These results show that it is not so difficult to emphasize the inequality of positions in the organization of space, but how to maintain equality?

Perhaps the most natural position would be for the interlocutors to sit opposite each other. This arrangement simultaneously creates a businesslike and trusting atmosphere. What is between communication partners is also important. If it is something massive, such as a large desk, then the conversation will most likely take on a business-like tone, but if it is a coffee table, the conversation will be more intimate. Reducing illumination is also known to increase the confidentiality of the conversation.

If the space where the conversation is taking place is too large, for example a large office or classroom, for a long and detailed conversation it is better for the interlocutors to sit somewhere in the corner, so that they have the illusion of their own space.

Fourth. The physical distance between people talking should also be taken into account, since it can serve as a certain indicator of the progress of the conversation. Interestingly, it is specific to different ethnic cultures.<...>

Unfortunately, the question of the optimal distance during conversation in our culture has been practically not studied. But it is obvious that the closer you are to your communication partner and the more friendly and personal the conversation taking place between you is, the closer you can be to each other. It is important to remember that approaching more than a meter is often perceived by a person as a violation of personal safe space. But whether you can afford it painlessly depends, first of all, on what kind of relationship you have with him (her).<...>

Starting a conversation.The first few phrases set a certain mood for the entire subsequent conversation and, although an unsuccessful start may not be decisive, it is better for this stage to be successful, allowing the interlocutors to move on to the main topic.

If two people have just met, then first of all they should, of course, greet each other. And the closer, informal the interlocutors’ relationship, the sooner instead of the official “hello” some other, their “own” greetings will be heard. It is necessary to get acquainted with the person with whom you intend to establish some kind of, even fleeting, contact at the very beginning of the conversation. The acquaintance should be organized by a more active party.

In general, there are two options for phrases with which, when getting acquainted, you can address your interlocutor: “Let’s get to know each other, what’s your name?” Or: “My name is... how should I address you?” The first phrase is more suitable when it is initially important to “equalize” your positions with your interlocutor by choosing a form of presentation that matches your own position. If there is no problem of equalizing positions, you can use the second phrase.

The conversation will proceed successfully if both interlocutors clearly understand its goals and objectives from the very beginning. To do this, it is best to start with a small introductory part, something like:

“I would like to talk to you about...” or “You might be interested to know that...”. Such a “special” beginning seems especially appropriate when the interlocutors know each other little, and their conversation should be of a business or diagnostic nature. In the event that you need the interlocutor to speak first, it is better not to wait, but to turn to him: “I am listening to you attentively...” or “What brought you to me?”

Of course, an atmosphere favorable for conversation is created not only by verbal, but also by non-verbal means. So, if the meeting place has a “host” (for example, the owner of the office in which the conversation will take place), he must meet the guest, taking at least a few steps towards him; if the interlocutor is a woman, help her take off her outerwear, etc. At the beginning of a conversation, an attentive glance at the interlocutor, a smile, a confidential and calm tone are never superfluous.

There are situations when it is necessary to win over an ungracious interlocutor by any means necessary. Having already become a classic of business communication, D. Carnegie, among the many “rules of communication”, formulated the following: “ The best way to win over a person is to show maximum interest and attention to him.” Questions like: “How are you doing?”, “How are you feeling?”, “Is your child healthy?” reliably indicate such interest. etc. Carnegie states that the more often a person in a conversation with others is given the opportunity to begin his sentence with “I”, i.e. “I feel”, “I believe”, “I think”, etc., the better he will treat the interlocutor.<...>

The purpose and nature of the conversation naturally largely determine its course. Quite conventionally, one can imagine three options for the development of a conversation: 1) one of the participants in the conversation asking the other in order to obtain the necessary information from him, 2) communicating certain information to the other partner, 3) listening attentively to the interlocutor. Let's see how the communication process will develop in each of these three cases.

Questioning your partner. Everyone knows that the nature of the questions largely determines the answers received to them. It is pointless to discuss which questions and for what purpose are worth asking and which ones are not – the number of possible options is too large. We will limit ourselves here to only two types of questions, the use of which allows you to quickly and easily obtain the necessary information from your interlocutor.

The entire process of collecting information is best divided into two stages. The purpose of the first is talk interlocutor, tune him to certain topics and problems. The immediate goal of the second is to obtain the necessary information. The questions formulated at the first stage should, on the one hand, be quite clearly aimed at the area of ​​interest, and on the otheras general as possible, so that the interlocutor could not answer them simply “yes” or “no,” but would have to say something about it. These are questions like: “Why do you think this happened?” or “How do you feel about...”. And only after the questioner has formed some impression about the situation and the interlocutor, can one proceed to the second stage of the questioning and ask specific, clear questions. Moreover, it is necessary to ask a number of specific questions regardless of whether you have a holistic understanding of the problem or not. Specific questions are a kind of protection against subjectivity, since the answers to them help to verify how correctly the interlocutor was understood.

In addition, if later in the conversation you have to convince your partner of something, it will be much easier to do this based on specific facts, which can only be obtained by asking questions like: “How many times did this happen?”, “When was the last time he told you?” did he say that? etc. Keep in mind that the answers are "often", "late", etc. are not specific because they are inherently subjective: what is rare or little for one person may be frequent or too much for another.

It is very important not to enter into confrontation with your interlocutor ahead of time, especially if you need to ask him about something in detail or convince him otherwise. It is better to move to this stage of the conversation when a sufficient number of facts have been received on the basis of which you can try to convince your interlocutor of something. Before this, it is better not to demonstrate other points of view, but to listen carefully to what your partner says. Otherwise, immediately entering into an argument with the interlocutor or showing disrespect for his opinion or position, you can turn the conversation into empty bickering or offend the interlocutor, forcing him to remain silent.

Reporting information. In a business or educational conversation, sometimes there is a need to first tell the other something, and then ask him questions, answer them yourself, or discuss them. How to make such a message the most effective, understandable and interesting for the interlocutor?

First of all, it should be focused specifically on this specific person. Thus, the speaker should not use words and expressions that will obviously be incomprehensible to the listener or may cause him rejection and resentment. In order for your partner to feel included in communication, you should periodically address him during your own monologue:

“You know, Ivan Fedorovich...”, “You understand, Lena, that...”. Such appeals can sound like compliments or can be encouraging; in any case, the interlocutor should feel that his presence is important and everything that is said is said specifically for him.<...>

And finally, the third option for developing the conversation.

Listening skills.What does a person do when he listens to another? Not everyone knows that the process of listening is almost more complex than the process of “speaking.” After all, concentration and understanding require considerable effort.

Let us roughly identify two types of listening, which are not always separated in time and are often closely intertwined with each other. It is listening for the purpose of obtaining information and listening as empathy and understanding of the interlocutor. Of course, how information will be perceived largely depends on how it is presented, we have already discussed this above. But since understanding is a complex process, even in the case of ideal presentation there is a need to resort to special techniques that promote better penetration into the text of the message. These techniques are mainly associated with mobilizing one’s own attention.

The simplest way of such personal mobilization would be questions that the listener can periodically ask “to himself,” trying to answer them himself: “What is he talking about now?”, “Why does this decision seem to him the most successful?” etc. This kind of treatment, called inner speech in psychology, helps the listener control his understanding and gain a deeper understanding of the information.

Sometimes it is useful, after the person speaking or answering the questions posed has already said everything he could, to try to retell to himself in a nutshell everything that was heard from him. Such a retelling also helps to better understand the interlocutor and discover places in his story where something remains unclear, some information, logical connections, etc. are missing.<...>

A more complex and more emotional process underlies listening as empathy for the interlocutor. Such listening in psychological literature is often called empathic (from the word “empathy”, that is, empathy). The need for it arises when some deep-seated personal problems are touched upon in communication. The listener's attitude plays an important role in this process. Thus, one of the classics of modern psychotherapy, American Carl Rogers, emphasizes that in order to hear the interlocutor, it is necessary to properly tune in to him, to feel the uniqueness of his individuality. To do this, K. Rogers recommends asking yourself a number of questions: “What kind of person is this?”, “How is he different from others?”, “Will I be able to truly understand him and help him?”, which, from his point of view, allow him to focus entirely on the interlocutor, feel his condition and problems . When a person is listened to attentively and empathetically, he usually calms down and relaxes, feeling as comfortable and cozy as possible. The unhurried, quiet voice of the listener in those moments when he has the need to ask a question, an attentive look, and the absence of tension or discomfort in his own posture also helps to create this feeling.

Discussion of facts. The features of this stage are largely determined by the goals and nature of the conversation. In principle, the discussion can take place in two ways; searching for a compromise or in attempts by both or one of the interlocutors to convince or reformulate the position of the other.<...>

Reaching a compromise, of course, is a great success, but what to do if the interlocutors fail to do this and each of them strives to reorient the other towards their own position?<...>

When using your arguments, you should not insist on them too much, “put pressure” on your interlocutor, since this can make him want to defend his position at all costs for fear of losing authority, the desire to annoy his opponent, etc. If the interlocutor stubbornly disagrees, it is better to retreat, accumulate some additional facts during the next stage of the conversation, and then again, unexpectedly for him, return to the disagreement that has arisen.

You should not immediately seek the complete consent of the other; it is enough for him to think and take into account a different point of view. The desire for complete and uncompromising agreement of the opponent in a dispute sometimes means that the arguer strives for victory, but not for the truth. I would like to emphasize once again: you can convince someone else of something only in a calm, friendly atmosphere, when none of the evidence hurts the interlocutor’s pride.<...>

Many typical mistakes communication is related to the fact that, trying to prove his point of view or insist on his own, a person begins to give many reasons and reasons why it should be this way and not otherwise. The number of reasons does not at all mean their quality, rather the opposite: the more there are, the weaker and more unreliable they are perceived, regardless of what they really are, and the easier it is for the opposite side to find among them those that can be questioned. There should be few arguments in the dispute, but they should be truly compelling. Moreover, one of the very common techniques used in business communication training is argument without arguments, when partners are taught to insist on their own, without resorting to any evidence or explanation, but simply repeating the same phrase reflecting the position of the speaker, but in a rather convincing tone. Often it is this kind of perseverance that leads to the desired result.

An effective way to convince a partner of something or to move a conversation forward is to use feedback in communication. As already noted, feedback refers to the process of informing the interlocutor about what the partner thinks and feels about him during the conversation. Thoughts and feelings expressed to another are of great value, since, on the one hand, they often contain useful and significant information, and on the other hand, they allow you to rebuild the conversation and give it new impetus.

In everyday life, people do not resort to this remedy very often, and sometimes they simply do not notice it. Of course, it can only be used with great caution, making sure that it is truly useful in a particular situation and does not lead to quarrels and showdowns.<...>

There are situations when the interlocutor stubbornly insists on his own, not wanting to listen to other people's arguments. At the same time, his partner may have the feeling that the desire to disagree is not connected with the conversation itself, but with some external situations, feelings and problems that are not discussed in the conversation. Such an obstacle can be overcome if he shares his feelings and suggestions with his interlocutor. If this kind of feedback is given in the right, constructive form, it can go a long way towards moving the conversation forward.<...>

Ending the conversation. One of the common recommendations found in business communication guides is calls for it that the conversation should end with a brief summary of its results. The one who took the more active role should once again briefly list the points on which the discussion took place and state the agreements reached or something else that can also be called the result of the conversation.

A successful ending to the conversation will be a succinct phrase that emphasizes either the nature of the conversation, or the agreement reached, or the positive attitude of the interlocutors towards each other. These are the phrases: “But in general, you are great!”, “Well, it seems to me that we had a good talk!” etc. Finding such words is not so difficult, especially since the previous conversation usually gives them the necessary nuance and significance.<...>

Now that the conversation process has been discussed in detail by us, let us dwell on some important points, which have a significant impact on its course. We have already mentioned many of them in passing - this tone of conversation words and expressions that may interfere with communication, etc.

When talking, it is very important to maintain the correct tone of conversation. Anyone can successfully control not only what they say, but also how they say it.<...>

Psychological research shows that people often focus not on the content of statements, but on the tone in which they were uttered.

Try to pronounce in a different tone some word that is quite unambiguous in meaning, for example “boring”. You will see that it can sound angry, offensive, gentle, and affectionate. Attentive tone control helps in conversation on any topic, even the most difficult one. So, often in a conversation there is a need to say something to another that can offend him, lead to confusion and, ultimately, serve as an obstacle to communication. But the right tone can significantly smooth out possible awkwardness. Sometimes we ourselves provoke negative reactions from our interlocutor, when we happen to reveal our confusion and shyness, we begin to stutter, raise or lower the volume of our voice, grin inappropriately, etc. Such “tone failures” lead to the fact that the partner notices them and begins to react, and not always in the way we would like.<...>

The meaning of the message. When communicating with people, you have to face the fact that the text of the message and its meaning do not always coincide. Who hasn’t met bosses who make comments to their subordinates only to once again assert their authority, or children who whine and are capricious not at all because they care? at the moment they need what they ask for, but with the goal of attracting the attention of their parents.

In communication between people, such situations are inevitable, because not everything should be spoken about directly; there are things that are better just hinted at to the interlocutor. But if you want to make communication successful, understand other people well and be understood by them, you should not oversaturate the conversation with hints or ambiguous phrases.

Unfortunately, there are common misconceptions like: “If he loves me, then he should guess how I feel without any further words” or “She is saying all this on purpose to humiliate me.” People, on the one hand, tend to leave a lot of things unsaid, and on the other hand, to put into the words of their interlocutor a meaning that the speaker is not even aware of. Sometimes asking your interlocutor a direct clarifying question or telling someone about something yourself is much better than building your own, most often far from reality, “concept” of another.<...>

WHAT STANDARDS EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION?

Every community, every group of people has its own norms and ideas about what and how to say. .... But no matter how diverse and broad these norms are, there are some rules that are common to everyone, and if we violate them, we risk offending our interlocutor.

Such interference includes the use of offensive words and expressions in interpersonal communication. Having told your interlocutor that he is a coward, a lazy person, a traitor, or something else like that, you should not expect anything other than a quarrel. If he is not offended by such statements, this rather indicates not that your interlocutor is patient and knows how to not pay attention to little things, but that he is indifferent to your opinion about himself or evaluates it so low that he does not consider it necessary listen.

A serious obstacle in communication between two people can be the desire of one of them to interpret and interpret the words of the other. With this interpretation, everyone sees and perceives only what they can or want to see.<...>

Of course, not every metaphor or comparison can be used in a conversation; in any case, they should not contain anything offensive, but their direct interpretation will most likely emphasize negative aspects, the clarification of which will only complicate communication. This usually happens as a result of suspiciousness or the desire to “catch on”, to find fault with the words of the interlocutor in order to prove to him that he treats his partner poorly or does not know how to express his thoughts. In such situations, the use of feedback or a direct question to the interlocutor, clarifying what he really wanted to say, will help resolve an urgent conflict without any losses. The frequent use of words such as “always” and “never” causes serious harm to communication. How different the two phrases sound: “You are late for class” and “You are always late for class.” Operating with these words leads to a violation of logic in communication. Any promises or prohibitions containing these words can easily interfere with contact. It is enough to remind: “You promised me never to do this!” or doubt: “You won’t be able to remember this forever.”

Communication can also be hindered by the desire of the interlocutors to attribute any thoughts or intentions to the other: “You just think that I...” or “You are deliberately late to see how I will react to this,” etc. Even if the thoughts of the other were “read” correctly, expressing them out loud is usually perceived as an attempt to humiliate the interlocutor or put pressure on him, which, of course, does not contribute to the development of contact.

Resolving a conflict or solving any problem is rarely facilitated by the desire of the interlocutors to find out who is right and who is wrong, who said what first, or when exactly this or that event happened.<...>

Direct orders should also be used very carefully and moderately in communicating with people. In our opinion, there are very few situations in life when one person has every right to give any orders to another (the most striking example is army discipline). A request or recommendation addressed to the interlocutor, whoever he isa child, a subordinate, a patient - will cause less internal resistance than an order given. Such forms of address as “Bring it!”, “Shut up!”, “Do it immediately!”, hurt your pride.

(Aleshina Yu.B., Petrovskaya L.A. Psychology of communication: psychological

propagandist competence. M., 1989. pp. 30-55)

cit . By Psychology in texts. Reader.

Textbook for medical students

/ Comp. and general editing by E.V. Osmina and T.F. Kabirova

– Izhevsk, 2003 . – P.268-274).

When communication within a couple is effective, it helps lovers quickly get closer and thereby strengthen their relationship, immersing themselves in an atmosphere of complete mutual understanding. But in fact, few couples achieve complete mutual understanding, because they commit common mistakes that hinder effective communication.

Avoiding conflict

Avoiding conflict is, of course, also a way to resolve conflict situations, but it should be used only as a temporary measure and preferably as rarely as possible. Otherwise, dissatisfaction will grow, which will result in problems with communication and relationships in general. It is better to solve problems as they arise, rather than putting them off until later.

Inability to accept criticism

There are people who do not know how to accept criticism, not even constructive criticism. But constructive criticism is useful, it helps people improve, become better, grow above yourself. Be sure to learn to accept complaints and evaluate them objectively, and also ask your family and friends for advice on how to get rid of your problem.

The habit of generalizing and exaggerating everything

As soon as something unpleasant happens, for example, a friend is late for a meeting, some people immediately exaggerate, saying: "You're always late". Or if someone could not keep a promise, he may hear in response: “You never keep your promises”. This is the habit that prevents people from communicating effectively. Look at the world with a positive attitude and don't judge a person by his actions alone..

The habit of considering only oneself right

Arrogant people who always and everywhere consider only their own point of view to be correct find it very difficult to communicate with other people. . Precisely because of their arrogance and excessive confidence that they are always right, although in fact they are often mistaken.

The habit of not listening to your interlocutor

It is very difficult to convey your thought to someone if he is thinking about something completely different and is constantly distracted, cannot focus on the interlocutor who is trying to convey his thoughts to him. If you are constantly distracted, for example, thinking about what you will say when the interlocutor interrupts, you will not be able to properly think through his words, to understand what he wanted. And the conversation will turn out empty and meaningless.

Rivalry

When disputes arise, difficult situations, many are trying to show themselves off the best side, and sometimes to the detriment of their friends, family, and loved ones. They try to shield themselves, criticize others for the lack of logic and everything else, but analyze the situation and build logical chains they are in no hurry. Competition interferes with effective communication, especially if we're talking about about communication and relationships between family members or best friends.

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Effective Communication

“The ability to communicate with people is a commodity, and I will pay more for such a skill than for anything else in the world.” (J. Rockefeller)

Communication plays a huge role in the life of society. Without it, the process of education, formation, personality development, interpersonal contacts, as well as management, service, scientific work and other activities in all areas where the transfer, assimilation and exchange of information are necessary are unthinkable.

Communication plays an important role in a person’s mastery of cultural and universal values ​​and social experience. In the process of communication, this specific form of human interaction with other people, there is a mutual exchange of ideas, ideas, interests, moods, attitudes, etc.

Increasing the importance of communication in the modern world requires the ability to communicate. This means that communication needs to be taught, communication needs to be learned, which presupposes the need for deep knowledge of this phenomenon, its patterns and characteristics that manifest themselves in people’s activities.

It is proposed to base the theory of speech culture as a special linguistic discipline on the following definition of this discipline. Speech culture is such a set and such an organization of linguistic means that, in a certain communication situation, while observing modern language norms and communication ethics, make it possible to ensure the greatest effect in achieving the set communicative tasks.

The effectiveness of communication is the “final product”, the creation of which should be facilitated by the theory of speech culture in its practical application. By effective communication we understand the optimal way to achieve set communication goals. The communicative goals of communication are closely related to the basic functions of language.

Effective communication technologies are those methods, techniques and means of communication that fully ensure mutual understanding and mutual empathy (empathy is the ability to put oneself in the place of another person (or object), the ability to empathize) of communication partners.

Communication itself, as a complex socio-psychological process, is characterized by three main content aspects: communicative, interactive and perceptual. Each of them has relative independence and provides certain goals for the subjects of communication:

*communication aspect reflects the desire of communication partners to exchange information;

*the interactive aspect is manifested in the need for them to comply with established norms of communication, as well as in their desire to actively influence each other in a certain direction;

*the perceptual aspect expresses the need of the subjects of communication for mutual empathy, sympathy, and compassion.

A special place in the content of technologies for effective communication in conflict is occupied by the goals of the conflict participants. First of all, this is due to a significant contradiction in the very process of such communication. On the one hand, rivals especially need to understand each other correctly. On the other hand, such mutual understanding is hampered by the lack of proper trust between them, their “closedness” towards each other, due to conscious or unconscious self-defense in a conflict. Therefore, to ensure constructive communication in a conflict, it is desirable (if possible) to create an atmosphere of mutual trust in this process and to form a goal for cooperation.

The main content of effective communication technologies ultimately comes down to compliance with certain rules and norms of communication.

Basic rules for effective communication:

Concentrate on the speaker and his message.

Check whether you correctly understood both the general content of the received information and its details.

Tell the other party in paraphrased form the meaning of the information received.

While receiving information, do not interrupt the speaker, do not give advice, do not criticize, do not summarize, and do not be distracted by preparing an answer. This can be done after receiving information and clarifying it.

Make sure you are heard and understood. Follow the sequence of information delivery. Without making sure that the information received by your partner is accurate, do not proceed to new messages.

Maintain an atmosphere of trust, mutual respect, and show empathy for your interlocutor.

Use non-verbal means of communication: frequent eye contact; nodding the head as a sign of understanding and other techniques conducive to constructive dialogue.

To communicate effectively, you need to know some techniques, because... many of them operate at the subconscious level.

A few tips for effective communication:

- "Rule of three twenty":

20 sec. you are being evaluated.

20 sec. how and what you started saying.

20 cm of smile and charm.

6 rules of Gleb Zheglov:

Show sincere interest in the interlocutor.

Smile.

Remember the person’s name and don’t forget to repeat it in conversation from time to time.

Be able to listen.

Conduct a conversation in the circle of interests of your interlocutor.

Treat him with respect.

How to increase the usefulness of a contact:

Be observant;

Give a compliment;

Talk about your interlocutor's problems.

Rules for effective communication according to Black:

Always insist on the truth.

Building messages is simple and clear.

Don't embellish, don't overcharge.

Remember that 1/2 of the audience are women.

Make communication fun and avoid boredom and routine.

Control the form of communication and avoid extravagance.

Take the time to find out the general opinion.

Remember the need for continuous communication and finding out common opinion.

Try to be convincing at every stage of communication.

As a result you will get:

Formal contact develops into normal human communication.

You will win over your interlocutor.

You will increase your self-esteem.

Let's look at some of the effective communication techniques and the importance of using them in more detail.

First impression (first 20 seconds)

The first impression of a person depends 38% on the sound of the voice, 55% on visual sensations (body language) and only 7% on the verbal component. Of course, the first impression is not always the final verdict, but it is important that from the very beginning communication is built on its basis. Therefore, it is important to be able to make a good impression on others.

To safely get through the “minefield” of the first 20 seconds, you need to use the “Rule of Three Pluses.”

Experts have noticed: in order to win over your interlocutor from the very beginning of an acquaintance or conversation, you need to give him at least three psychological “pluses”, in other words, give him three pleasant “gifts”

There are, of course, many possible “pluses”, but the most universal of them are: a compliment, a smile, the name of the interlocutor and raising his importance.

Compliment

At first glance, a compliment is the simplest thing in communication. But to do it masterfully is the highest art.

Smile- this is an expression of a good attitude towards the interlocutor, a psychological “plus”, the answer to which is the interlocutor’s disposition towards us. A sincere, friendly smile cannot spoil a single face, and the vast majority of them make them more attractive.

It is advisable to accustom yourself to having a warm, friendly smile, or at least a readiness for it, become the usual expression on your face. This is exactly what your smile should be - open and sincere.

Remember the name of the interlocutor

The very sound of a name has a great impact on a person. During conflicts, wanting to relieve their severity, people subconsciously begin to use the names of their interlocutors more often. Often we need not so much to insist on our own, but to see that people are listening to us, and to hear our name at the same time. Often a name is the decisive straw for things to turn out in our favor. A manager who wants to make a good impression can use the following technique: keep a notebook and write down the names of all his business partners and subordinates and sometimes look at it so that he can address him by name when meeting. It leaves a lasting impression on people that a person much higher in the ranks remembers them by name.

A person's name is the most important sound for him in any language.

Raising the importance of the interlocutor

We all want to feel significant, so that at least something depends on us.

The need to feel important is one of the most natural and characteristic human weaknesses, characteristic of these people to one degree or another. And sometimes it is enough to give a person the opportunity to realize his own significance so that he will happily agree to do what we ask.

Any employee wants others to value his work, recognize his employment, usefulness and indispensability. Therefore, it never hurts us, turning to him, to apologize for the “disturbance caused,” although fulfilling our request is included in the scope of his “official duties.”

Of course, there are thousands of means of raising the importance of an interlocutor; everyone chooses the most suitable one for a given situation. But there are also universal remedies that can be called truly magical words.

For example, the phrase “I would like to consult with you!” People read them like this: “They want to consult with me. I'm needed! I am significant! Well, why not help this person? Of course, this phrase is a general formula; the whole art lies in the ability to vary it, to look for the most appropriate words for the situation.

The main thing is to sincerely ask the person for one or another help.

Raising the importance of your interlocutor can become a universal key to his soul only if this is done sincerely.

Listening skills

Rule 1: “The best conversationalist is not the one who knows how to speak well, but the one who knows how to listen well.”

Rule 2: “People tend to listen to others only after they have listened to them.”

So, if we want to be listened to, we must first listen to the other person.

There are special techniques for understanding listening that everyone can learn:

Non-reflective listening.

Non-reflective listening is listening without analysis (reflection), giving the interlocutor the opportunity to speak out. It consists of the ability to be silent attentively. All you need to do is support the flow of your interlocutor’s speech, trying to get him to speak out completely.

Finding out

Clarification is an appeal to the speaker for some clarification. The essence of this technique is that the listener, when a misunderstanding arises, a phrase is unclear, or a word is ambiguous, asks “clarifying” questions. This technique allows you to eliminate misunderstanding, as they say, “in the bud.” Clarification is useful in cases where we need to accurately understand the position of the interlocutor, when the slightest inaccuracy can lead to negative consequences; when a person speaks confusingly, does not make the necessary explanations, jumps from one thing to another, because clarification helps in this case to understand the essence of the story. Clarification also helps the speaker. “Clarifying” questions show the speaker that he is being listened to (which naturally gives confidence), and after the necessary explanations, he can be sure that he is understood.

Paraphrasing

To paraphrase means to say the same idea, but slightly differently. This technique helps to make sure how accurately we have “deciphered” the interlocutor’s words, and to move on with the confidence that everything has still been understood correctly. Paraphrasing is an almost universal technique. It can be used both in business conversation and in personal communication.

Summary

Summarizing is summing up results. The essence of this listening technique is that we summarize the main thoughts of the interlocutor in our own words. A summary phrase is the interlocutor’s speech in a “collapsed” form, its main idea. Summarizing is fundamentally different from paraphrasing, the essence of which is to repeat every thought of the interlocutor, but in our own words, which shows him our attentiveness and understanding. When summarizing, from the whole part of the conversation, only main idea. social psychological technology communication

Reflection of feelings

Reflection of feelings is the desire to show the interlocutor that we understand his feelings. How pleasant it can be to talk with a sensitive interlocutor who shares our emotions and experiences, not paying attention to the content of the speech, the essence of which sometimes has no special meaning for ourselves.

Understanding Nonverbal Messages

Nonverbal communication is a non-verbal form of communication that includes gestures, facial expressions, postures, visual contact, timbre of voice, touch and conveys figurative and emotional content. Nonverbal communication is a type of communication without the use of words.

Observations have shown that in communication processes 60%-95% of information is transmitted through non-verbal communication.

Friendly Eyes: Even when you're just making casual conversation, someone who's close to you will often look at you, especially when you're talking. Psychologists use the expression “eating with your eyes” to describe this - it means looking continuously at another person, especially in his face, but not always making eye contact.

It is worth considering that, for example, women not only tend to “eat with the eyes” of their interlocutor more, but also have a more positive attitude towards the fact that they are looked at a lot. Men in general are relatively less likely to allow themselves to be looked at frequently, even as a sign of warmth and friendship.

Warm intonations: we always monitor the timbre and intonation of the voice as a means of expressing the emotional content of the words we hear, and in a conversation we can distinguish them from the meaning of the words themselves. Your voice is better at expressing positive than negative emotions, and you've probably found out that someone likes you based on intonation alone. By the way, scientists say that this is the easiest way to determine whether they are trying to mislead you or whether they are speaking directly and frankly.

Warmth of touch. Touching another person in a non-sexual way, say on the arm or shoulder, is a powerful means of conveying warmth and affection. When there is no reason that it will be perceived negatively, do not be shy about touching if it comes naturally to you. Those who know how to touch their interlocutor in conversation are usually perceived as sweet and attractive, but you need to be very attentive to the possible reaction of the other person.

Mirror reflection (positional echo) is another sign by which we can confidently say that two people get along well with each other. Having observed how people stand, sit, and move, you can notice their tendency to imitate each other so much that it seems as if they are one person reflected in the mirror. This process occurs at the subconscious level; it is based on a non-verbal message: “Look, I’m just like you.” By unobtrusively copying some of a person’s gestures, it is easier to win him over, calm him down and relax him.

Conclusion

What do we mean by the word “effective communication”? Effective communication is more than just conveying information. In order for communication to be effective, it is important not only to be able to speak, but also to be able to listen, hear and understand what the interlocutor is saying. Unfortunately, no one probably taught us the art of communication. Yes, of course, they explained to us how to write and read, but they did not teach us how to listen and speak. Everyone develops these abilities independently, learning from the people who surround us (primarily parents). It is quite possible that you adopted the communication style of your parents as a child, but this manner or form of communication may not always be effective.

So how can you improve your communication with others?

In order for communication to be effective, contact must be established between us and our interlocutor. During communication, each of us wants to be heard and understood, for this reason, during the conversation, show respect for the point of view of the speaker. For effective communication, it is also recommended to speak at the same pace and volume, and using a similar position (standing or sitting) as your interlocutor. Remember that people love to be imitated.

Nonverbal communication

Nonverbal communication is a very important component of communication. Only a small part of communication consists of actual words. This means that communication mainly consists of facial expressions and gestures. We also use nonverbal communication to show our response to what is being communicated to us.

Make sure you are understood correctly

After you have finished the conversation and provided certain information, be sure to make sure that you were understood correctly. To do this, just ask a few questions like “Do you understand what I actually wanted to say?” or a similar question.

React to information from your interlocutor

You should not passively perceive the information of your interlocutor. During the conversation, it is recommended to make it clear through gestures, facial expressions and words that you are listening and hearing the interlocutor, you understand what he is communicating. If you don’t quite understand something, be sure to ask again, “Did I understand you correctly?”

These are perhaps the most basic rules that will help make communication with absolutely different people and in various areas of life more effective, and therefore more harmonious and productive. Communication is an integral part of our life. We communicate constantly, even when we are silent (through our gestures, movements, facial expressions). So let communication become even more effective!

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