Life is not a fairy tale. No matter how much I would like to believe otherwise. Life is constant movement and development, and any development, according to dialectics, is associated with overcoming difficulties. Actually, all difficulties are not so much difficulties as ordinary external circumstances, interaction with which gives rise to contradiction. A there is a solution to the contradiction creative process .

The trouble is that there may not be enough internal strength for this creative process. Question: why? Everything here is quite simple: the level of internal strength is directly proportional to the level inner freedom. If you have as much freedom inside as you can, then you only have enough strength to drag yourself to work in the morning and repost motivational quotes on social networks.

It has appropriated your own powers

Your strength is you. You, as you could have been, if from childhood your consciousness had not been disfigured by the repressive system cultural socialization. The essence of this culture is targeted cultivation, the cultivation of an obedient and predictable member of society, who, through the uncritical assimilation of basic social norms, will perform functions that are useful for society (but far from a fact? for themselves) functions. Society has appropriated your strength and directed your internal reserves and resources towards its interests.

Your strength is in following your own “wants”, your deepest instincts. It is they and no one else who feed you energy and give you the opportunity to move and live. But since blindly following instinctive “wants” is destructive both for society and for a person, your power was taken under control. But not by you. You need to return it if you want, of course, to feel that magnificent state when “you can move mountains.”

The path to regaining control over your powers is very simple - you just need to start working on being more internally free. The more freedom, the more power. It's simple.

Believing in yourself means freeing yourself from lies.

Where does self-confidence begin? Why legendary "The Beatles" after being rejected by Decca Recording (“we don’t like their sound, they have no future in show business”) continued to play and eventually gained worldwide fame?

Why Michael Jordan, who missed more than nine thousand times and lost more than three hundred matches, repeatedly walked onto the basketball court and grabbed the ball to shoot into the opponent’s basket?

Why Steven Spielberg, who was repeatedly denied admission to the School of Cinematic Arts, instead of pursuing a career in another field, began making short films and became the creator of world-class film masterpieces?

And such examples can be collected in more than one volume.

Believing in yourself begins with an honest answer to the question: “ Am I a slave creature or the master of my life?" Any problem is solved only after realizing its existence. A slave who realizes his slavery can become a master, a slave who sincerely believes that he is a master will NEVER be freed. Lying to oneself is punished by life itself with the most terrible punishment - separation from reality. If you believe that a concrete floor is a soft snowdrift, then jump for good measure and then blame everyone for the fact that all your bones are broken and your face has turned into minced meat.

“I think that strength lies in truth..«

"Not in the strength of G-d, but in truth! they say Alexander Nevsky said. And here you need to understand one very important thing: any physical, material force (i.e. the power of the “prince of this world”) breaks down before the power of the human spirit (the power of G-d, the power of the Absolute Truth). Therefore, in any fight, the winner most often is not the one who is healthier, pumped up and stronger, but the one who is ready to go and fight to the end, because he feels deep inner righteousness behind him.

Where is this feeling of deep inner rightness? How to find and find it? I’ll say right away that you will not find this truth in any book, since its only source is a connection with the Absolute Truth, a connection with G-d through your own intuition, which is the only one capable of giving you the right answer - what is true and what is not .

Having learned to work with your intuition, expanding the zone of your inner freedom to the maximum, you will find the desired state of the Spirit, a state of deep and sincere faith in yourself and your own strengths. There are simply no other options.

I discuss the issue of finding oneself, self-confidence, inner strength and inner freedom in more detail in the book “New Man: How to Find Yourself and Your Path”. Access to it is absolutely free - just register in the Project.

How to believe in yourself if you still have early childhood at home and at school they made you think that you were weak or stupid or incapable. The life attitudes of each of us determine our lives.

Lack of self-confidence and pessimism, leading to and lack of joy, as well as denial of the ability to achieve success, leave their mark on every action. How to be more confident, how to believe in yourself and your strengths, let's try to answer these questions.

As soon as you start doubting your abilities, begin to engage in self-criticism, or worry about your own shortcomings or mistakes you once made, new problems will immediately arise. By lowering your opinion of yourself, you put obstacles in front of yourself in any business, narrow your horizons and limit your own capabilities. It is important to start working on yourself to overcome any fears and self-doubt.

Reasons for not believing in yourself

They can be divided into three groups:

• Environment, family, colleagues, friends. Those around you can constantly prove that you can’t do anything, that you’re not capable of anything, that you’re a failure or a loser and generally untalented. Most often, unfortunately, our relatives are capable of this. Such statements have some significance when they come from the closest people. How to develop self-confidence when your parents tell you that you have big nose or empty in the head. Try to remember how often you told your loved ones about your plans, and in response they only demotivated you, completely unsettling you and deviating you from your goal. In each of our lives there is someone who always pulls us down. Great, isn't it? This is exactly what we need! Believe in yourself, don’t be discouraged, the main thing is your goals. They do not necessarily have to be approved by relatives.

• The second reason comes from ourselves. We have the temerity to compare ourselves with others. This is why we don't understand how to develop self-confidence. There is no point in constantly comparing yourself to others. It's hard to accept, but it's true. There will always be those who are better than you at something. How to believe in yourself? Maybe it’s better to learn from others, to adopt the best they have. Competing with someone is often useful, spurring our desire to move forward and develop. But many may give up.

• Our failures and failures. This reason is called the main reason for lack of confidence. Just believe in yourself, it couldn't be easier! But that's not true. The baggage of all failures haunts many. Some people get a spanking from their boss or a bad grade at school and do nothing more. Gives up and retreats.

This often happens with learning foreign languages. This is perhaps the most successful example. Most people think that learning a language is like going for a walk in the park on a July evening. Great, nice, interesting. But learning languages ​​takes many years of daily work. Not everyone understands this, which is why they often give up after several months of studying. Or they buy a brochure: “Learn a foreign language in 15 minutes over a cup of coffee.” The formula for all failures: the complex cannot be simple.

Female psychology and self-confidence

Deep down, most women may have opposing beliefs that coexist. Many women are guided by doubts about their appearance. This can really cause a huge number of problems for them.

Many women simply don't know how to find self-confidence or self-confidence. Often insecure women say: “What if it doesn’t work out? What if I can’t”? In most cases, they are simply afraid of losing, not being liked, or looking ridiculous. At a deeper level of the subconscious, all this forms the belief that it is simply impossible to gain self-confidence. Believe in yourself and success is guaranteed!

Exists great way to understand whether you believe in yourself or not. Record yourself on a video camera with speech, gestures, movements. Look at the recording and see if you like your appearance and behavior. If you respond calmly to others' portrayals of yourself, then you most likely accept yourself for who you are and have no problem building self-confidence.

When a woman is able to accept and love herself with all her strengths and weaknesses, then it becomes easier for her to move through life and easier to achieve advancement in her career. The psychology of every person should be based on self-respect, love and absolute acceptance of oneself! Believe in yourself and everything will work out! The formula for success is simple!

Male psychology and self-confidence

For men, the question of how to gain self-confidence is one of the most pressing.

Once upon a time he was a child, and his father told him that he was fat or weak, and a real man must be strong, muscular, slender, resilient. The child began to feel embarrassed about his appearance, weakness or angularity. Remember: once made, a remark about a child’s appearance can shape his attitude towards himself in the future.

Once said: “You’re stupid” or an even more biting phrase can forever discourage a child from studying. He's already been shown what he is like. Just imagine for a moment the boys to whom “kind” parents drummed into them day after day: “You are incapable, you are worthless, you are weak, you are fat.” How to believe in yourself when, it would seem, the people closest to you are doing everything to achieve the opposite.

An adult man is unlikely to establish a cause-and-effect relationship with what his parents told him. Over time, he may simply accept that he does have physical imperfections. What to do with this, how to gain self-confidence? Most likely, trainings and popular books on psychology will not be enough here. Will be required correctional work psychologists and psychotherapists.

Women should be advised the following. For a man to believe in himself, believe in him! Don’t create ideals for yourself and wean your beloved man away from this. Self-hypnosis that your man is the most worthy will help you instill this thought in him too. Women's experience will tell you how to be confident enough to succeed.

Accept and respect your partner. Each man is individual and has every right to this. There is no need to try to change anyone.

Only the man himself can decide for himself whether to change or not, and in the way he considers right. To develop self-confidence, you need to let the man understand for himself whether he wants this.

How to move your life forward

This chapter will contain tips that you can use to understand how to increase your self-confidence:

• think about life more simply. People who prepare for problems will face these problems. If on a subconscious level we are told that a task is difficult and practically impossible to solve, then most will give up in front of it. But any situation can always have a simple solution. Worth treating life's difficulties like a logic problem where there is always a simple solution. As M. Kalashnikov said: “Everything ingenious is simple, everything complex is unnecessary.” Learn to perceive life more simply, then it will be easy for you to achieve your goals;

• How to increase self-confidence if nothing works out? Based on the experience of people equal to you. By social status, financial situation and income;

• remember your successes, forget your failures;

• To develop self-confidence, forget childhood and teenage complexes.

Some more tips on how to develop self-confidence. First of all, assess your capabilities realistically. You shouldn't plan to become a millionaire if you barely have enough to eat. Work, dream, learn how to build self-confidence. Set your priorities. Don't take on an unbearable burden.

Of course, there are a lot of tips on how to gain self-confidence. They all boil down to the following key conclusions:

• Don't dwell on your own failures. Don't dwell on your failures. It is possible that in five to ten years it will no longer matter at all to you what causes you depressive states Now. For example, a single “C” forever deprived you of your chances of getting a honors diploma. This is real stress for you. But suppose that after university you will not be able to find a job in your specialty, you will find yourself in another field where you will achieve great success. You will become parents, and the grade you received five years ago, because of which you suffered so much, will be completely unimportant. Looking to the future, not the past, helps you gain self-confidence.

• Formulate positive attitudes. “All people are like people, and I am a queen,” - this should be about you. How to believe in yourself? Just tell yourself more often that you are kind, smart, beautiful, and everything will work out for you.

• The third rule for understanding how to develop self-confidence involves finding a worthy example to follow. It doesn't matter who your idol was or is. The main thing is that he helps you on how to develop self-confidence;

• Attend training to develop self-confidence. Professional psychologists will easily explain how to gain self-confidence;

• Set yourself a goal and go towards it. If the goal is too serious and it takes a long time to achieve it, you may get tired of it at some stage, then break it down into small intervals. Do you want to lose weight? Then today exercise, tomorrow - swimming, the day after tomorrow - jogging or climbing wall. Finish what you start. This is very important!

• Before you ask yourself how to develop self-confidence, look at your bookshelf. How many books are left abandoned in the middle? Maybe, how to be more sure, there is something left somewhere at the end of one of them?

• Recognize your uniqueness. Back in elementary school I understood that there were flaws in my appearance that I didn’t like, which I was even terribly embarrassed about. But one day the teacher asked if I was ready to look like my neighbor at my desk. That is, literally take and become her, with her appearance.

I thought about it and said that it’s definitely not. And every child in the class said the same. We are ready to coddle our complexes, but we only want to be who we are. We love ourselves this way, we were born this way. How to be sure? You must accept that you are unique and beautiful for that! Self-hypnosis will help you. Doesn't help? Psychologists will tell you how to gain self-confidence.

What does it really take to learn to believe in yourself?

We will summarize the basic tips on how to gain self-confidence in the last chapter. The development of self-confidence directly depends on following them:

• Don't think about the past. Look to the future, dream, but don't be upset.

• To understand how to increase your self-confidence, make a list of your positive and negative aspects.

• Be grateful for everything that has helped you and taught you.

• Collect all the good things you hear about yourself from anyone. Remember, or better yet, write it down.

• How to believe in yourself if people spoke badly about you at work? Turn disadvantages into advantages.

• Gestures of confidence characterize a person with the best side and can influence the impression made.

• If you want not only to know how to increase self-confidence, but to gain real confidence, indestructible and reliable, then do not stop halfway.

• Stress is a very bad human condition. Every person experiences these emotions. A person with low self-esteem is unable to believe in himself, despairs, and becomes depressed. A person may well reach a nervous breakdown.

• To develop self-confidence, follow your dreams.

• Break down large tasks into specific goals.

• Focus on winning.

• Improve your appearance.

• Hang out with people you like.

• Eat healthy, get enough sleep, relax, listen to music, go for walks.

• Please yourself with positive moments: watch your favorite movie, enjoy the best dishes. Surround yourself beautiful things. Keep track of your appearance, improve yourself. Admire nature, play more sports. Don't strive for unattainable goals. Love and accept yourself for who you are.

Believe in yourself to achieve high goals!

According to your faith it will be given to you. This famous biblical saying is known to all Orthodox Christians. But many people don't even know what they believe. That is, they believe in something, for example, in what the media tells us, writes in newspapers, neighbors say, in what seems to us, but certainly not in themselves. Almost all people lack self-confidence. Many people simply don’t believe in themselves for several reasons (more on that below). That’s why the article is called: Is it possible to believe in yourself and how to believe in yourself?

I’ll answer, it’s impossible to believe in yourself just like that. To believe, you need a reason that will make you do it. For example, you do not believe that a person can fly. If you see a flying person, at first you will be surprised, for a very long time and loudly, but after a while this will be the norm for you. A fact is a fact and there is no point in arguing with it. You're not surprised when you drive a car. You just press the pedal, turn the steering wheel and swear while standing in a traffic jam. And once upon a time, creating a car was a fantasy, not to mention telephones. Well, how is it that voice is transmitted through the air? This is actually so difficult!

It's the same with faith. To believe in yourself you need proof To stop believing in yourself, you also need proof. Now you don’t believe in yourself because something happened in your life, because of which you stopped believing in your strength. Worse, you no longer consider yourself worthy of what you want. Let's dig deeper and figure out what happened that made you stop taking yourself into account.

Reasons for not believing in yourself

The first reason for not believing in yourself is your environment., which constantly proves to you that you won’t succeed. Your relatives do this job especially well. How often have you told them that you want to do this and that, and they answered you: “You won’t succeed because...” and give a lot of arguments why you won’t be able to do it. They will start listing to you examples of people who were bigger than you, had better connections, were more gifted than you, and they failed to do what you set out to do. So don’t poke your nose where you don’t belong – this is for the elite. Or they will begin to list examples from their life, feeding you with their negative experiences, and, of course, you will have a problem, and you will simply abandon this idea. Nice, isn't it?

The second reason is comparing yourself to others. There will always be someone better than you at what you want to succeed at. For example, in sports. This karateka fights better than you, and he has more chances to become the champion of Russia than you. You constantly compare yourself with him, and your faith in becoming the champion of Russia passes to him. Even worse, during sparring he beats you up because you are sure that he is stronger than you. You start not giving 100% and lose to him. To believe in yourself you need victory, to disbelieve in yourself you need defeat. Everything is simple and clear!

Constantly comparing yourself to someone else seems to take away your faith. A person begins to think like: “How can I succeed in this matter if Petrovich himself could not. So I shouldn’t even try.”. It’s thoughts like these that take away our faith.

The third reason for lack of self-confidence is, of course, failures and failures. This reason is the main reason why a person stops believing in himself. Some say - "Just believe in yourself". It doesn't work. A person cannot believe in himself after forty-two. But how can this be done if life has proven to a person that nothing comes easy, you have to work everywhere, have talent, connections and other attributes that help achieve success.

Many people, after a series of failures, simply stop trying anything. Why do you think? Because failure hurts, and pain is what a person tries to avoid. All people strive for joy, but sometimes they get into trouble and cause themselves pain. And with each failure a person believes in himself less and less, and vice versa - with each victory he believes in his abilities more and more.

By the way, we all face failure. So don’t think that you are the only one in the whole world who is so poor and unnoticed by God. Successful people make more mistakes than ordinary people. This means they experience more pain and disappointment. This really looks like masochism. In the end they win and...

How to believe in yourself?

Let's move on to answering this question. So how to believe in yourself? I hope you haven't forgotten the first reason for not believing in yourself. This is your environment, which tirelessly imposes its opinion on you. It's worth listening, but it's better to think with your own head. If you decide to do something, then you should not share it with those people who will make fun of you. Keep your plans secret from such people, act in a "stealth".

At the age of 19, my brother and I decided to open ice cream by weight. We told our ancestors about this, and they started telling us you know what. They said that all the places were already taken, this should have been done earlier, it’s difficult, you need to know this, and so on. And they told us this many times. But we didn’t listen. We began to act quietly. After five months of hard work (April 18, 2010), we opened. The ancestors did not know about this. And when we told them, their eyes widened. Mom even shook my hand. So you do the same.

Don't take other people's experiences 100%. This is the experience of strangers. Just say - "Paid". This experience is of no use to you, you have your own life and you are a different person who grew up in a different time. What they had will not happen to you again. Lightning does not strike in the same place. Remember this.

The second advice is the opposite. There are such rare individuals who will always support you in your endeavors. This again could be your parents or friends. If you doubt something, go to such a person, talk to him, and I am sure that after the conversation you will have full strength for action.

And now about comparing yourself with others. We need to get rid of this forever. Comparing yourself with someone who is better than you will not help you believe in yourself. Of course, sometimes you need to compare, but not so often. Do you really think that everything successful people simply the most gifted, smart, beautiful and talented in the world? Of course not. If Vasya is better than you in something, this does not mean that he will succeed in his business. Maybe he doesn’t have the same patience and efficiency as you? These are the most necessary qualities for success in any endeavor, including self-discipline. In addition, you can get along well with people, but Vasya cannot. Then they will help you with something, but Vasya will not be helped because he is such a fool.

Let's talk about failures. Everyone has them. And here it is worth not focusing on them. Instead of thinking about failure, look for an opportunity that will help you achieve your goal. Thinking about failure is a brake, looking for opportunities is a gas. Which pedal are you pressing? A person loses faith when he thinks about failures, and gains when he thinks about victories. Most of us think about failures because failures cause strong negative emotions- disappointment, despair, despondency. The joy is not so strong, it passes quickly. But those negative emotions do not dissolve so quickly. And of course, it’s difficult to act when there are such bad memories in your head.

For example, the tenth girl has already refused to go on a date with you. Of course, making such an offer for the eleventh time will be very difficult. You will be sure that you will be refused. Although, then why be afraid! And yet, there will definitely be someone who will agree to go on a date with you. Yes, even if it’s the forty-third, there will still be one (if you change tactics).

Therefore, in order not to lose faith in yourself, do not think about failures, think about new opportunities. New opportunities promise you victory; thinking about failures will not move you from your place.

How to believe in yourself

	Like

Hello, dear readers of my blog! Today we will talk about how to believe in yourself and achieve success. I already wrote in the article “” that if you believe that you can achieve your goal, then half the way has already been completed. These are the words of Roosevelt, one of America's best presidents, that actually work.

Confidence is not built into us from birth, it develops over time, initially in the family of parents. The attention and love of loved ones gives a feeling of acceptance and importance, which you can later rely on. But not everyone has had parental support and recognition in their life; what then can be done if self-confidence is negligible? I will tell you what you need to do in order to gain confidence in your abilities and actions and what technologies exist.

Thomas Leonard's formula for success

Thomas created personal coaching and devoted a lot of time to studying the components that accompany life effectiveness. Its formula looks like this: 10% + 40% + 50% = 100%, where:

10% is our experience, skills, knowledge and skills. It’s surprising, dear reader, but it’s true that our knowledge does not play the most important role in achieving our goals, only thanks to it it is almost impossible to achieve heights.

40% is our way of thinking. As you can see, our thoughts have a greater impact on our well-being than knowledge and experience. A positive way of thinking gives energy and resources, while negative thoughts already slow you down and set you up for failure.

50% is the environment. The people we interact with on a regular basis have a huge influence on our thoughts, lifestyles, values ​​and priorities. If there are people next to you who are focused on development and achieving their goals, this will motivate you to move forward, despite the difficulties.

Exercise “Wheel of Life”

This psychological exercise will help you determine which areas of your life you need to pay attention to, because if any needs are unmet, this will greatly affect the process of achieving your goal. The harmony of each component is important, then success is guaranteed.

So, you need to draw a circle on a piece of paper and divide it into 8 parts, each of them will be responsible for a certain area: love, relaxation, self-development, health, work, money, family, friends. And rate on a 10-point scale how filled each sector of your diagram is. This is the wheel of life, which is very difficult to roll if there are major shortcomings in at least one sector. Think about how you can increase the missing percentage and what you need to do to maintain it.

Ways to get good results

1. Setting goals. To begin with, it is important to recognize your desires, then they take shape in the form of goals, which can later be translated into reality. You can read how to do this in my article on how to set goals correctly. When you clearly understand what you want and how you will realize your dreams, then you can move on to the next point.
2. Planning . Now you need to outline the implementation timeframe, possible risks, as well as ways to solve emerging difficulties that you will encounter. Write down your ideas, break the deadlines into stages, when there is structure and boundaries, then it is much clearer and easier to navigate. Planning disciplines, since self-control is in a good way to obtain the required results. And at the same time, be sure to set aside time for relaxation and other areas of your life.
3. Activity. In order to get results, you need to make efforts and be active. Otherwise, goals will remain dreams. It is important to start, take the first step, and once in motion it will be easier to support the process of implementing plans.

Methods

• Accumulation of effort. Slowly, step by step, even sometimes experiencing failures, but still continue moving towards your goal. This method is good because it is possible to gain satisfaction not only from what has been achieved, but also from the process itself, living the joy of every small victory. After all, as the proverb says: “Water wears away stones.”
• Snatch method. Everyone’s pace is different, and for some it may be easier to make a sudden, full-throttle breakthrough, a breakthrough forward. The results of this method are visible much faster, but there is a risk of exhaustion or emotional overstrain, so calculate your strengths and resources in advance.

1.Polarity

There is such a thing as polarity, which means that one whole can have opposite properties. Just like a battery has a plus and a minus, so every person has polar qualities. If, for example, you often experience fear, you should not immediately characterize yourself as a coward; courage also lives within you, but you may not know it yet.

Try to write down, for example, 5 of your qualities, and then opposite each one write the opposite of it. Close your eyes and feel these new character traits. This exercise will help you discover new resources in yourself and understand that you are a versatile person, and not just a person who is unsure of his abilities.

2.Experience

Our attitude towards failures is sometimes one-sided, although in fact they are given to us to gain experience, and sometimes open up more prospects for development. Remember the last unsuccessful difficulty and describe at least a few options that you received in return for something useful thanks to this loss. I understand that it is very difficult to find at least some grain of good in an unpleasant situation, but believe me, it is there.

It’s the same with your attitude towards yourself, look differently at something you don’t like about yourself.

3.Achievements

Try to compare your achievements and yourself with your former self, and not with other people. We are all different, with different experiences, family histories and capabilities. Alternatively, observe the successful people in your environment for a collective image of the necessary behavior styles in stressful situations, when it is important to make quick decisions, prioritize and remain calm.

4.Our internal statements

Write down all your statements that doom you to failure, and instead make up positive formulas. For example, “I am confident in myself, I believe in my strength,” and repeat them to yourself as often as possible; self-hypnosis will give you strength and faith in a successful outcome, and will also create a good mood.

Make a collage with the desired objects, then every day it will be in front of your eyes, reminding you not to stop.

5.Victory

Make a list of your victories. Let them be small, sometimes insignificant, but these are your victories. They will motivate you to do something more, you will learn to be proud of yourself and notice that you are able to complete a task and get results.

6.Knowledge

Improve, develop, replenishing your stock of knowledge. Look for new information, then you will always be “on the wave”. Use the experience of other people, analyze your mistakes. Thus, you will expand your capabilities, including professional ones.

7.Environment

As already mentioned, your environment greatly influences your life and worldview. Try to communicate more with people who are result-oriented, have already achieved something and know how to support. In this case, you can seek advice at any time, rely on their experience and gain recognition by sharing yours.

8.Persistence and efficiency

Be prepared to work hard to get what you want, you need to make every day every day, without giving yourself any concessions or a path to retreat. Show perseverance and endurance, these are the most important tools in overcoming obstacles, even if failures follow one after another, focus on perseverance. The biggest mistake is sometimes when a person simply expects everything to work out on its own.

Conclusion

Believe in your own strength, don’t stop, and then you will succeed.

You are not alone in this world trying to reach the top. For example and motivation, I recommend reading my article. And then you will understand that the main thing is to go to the end, despite all the obstacles and lack of support from others.

Good luck to you, dear readers of my blog!

Self-confidence depends on many factors. Typically, self-confidence arises when a person achieves success in the project he is working on. He begins to meet a partner he likes, earn a lot of money, get approval from authorities, etc. However, life cannot only please..

Life cannot be a continuous holiday. Everyone experiences situations of sadness, disappointment and failure in life. It is at such moments that it is important to maintain good spirits and self-confidence so as not to contribute to the decline.

Life doesn't go smoothly for everyone. What to do? First of all, understand why you attach such great importance to the failures that have arisen. Why are you obsessing over them? Why do they become the most important events for you than other situations that occur in parallel with them? Failure is just a part of life, not the whole of life.

You need to figure out why failures make you obsess over them. Successful man also faces setbacks. However, he does not make a problem out of them, but tries to analyze his mistakes and understand how to correct the situation. There is no need to suffer over failures. You need to understand what happened, why they happened, and then correct what happened.

Self-esteem, self-confidence, self-belief are “eggs from the same basket.” If the reader can become self-confident or learn to increase self-esteem, then he will overcome other problems that are associated with these concepts.

Many coaches make money from people trying to find a way to become confident, believe in themselves, and make their self-esteem stable. But how many people do you know who are adequately confident? There are many trainings, but little effect. What doesn't work?

As always, it is necessary to address the essence of the problem, not solve its consequences. It is necessary not to increase self-esteem or surround yourself with attributes that supposedly will make you self-confident, but to eliminate the reason that deprives any person of the desired states.

• First, many people's sense of self depends on what others think of them. “What will people say?” - a favorite saying of many Soviet people. This saying was put into the heads of subsequent generations who were no longer born in the Soviet Union. Focus on the opinions of others, which are always ambiguous, fickle, and different. A person needs to suffer not from splitting, but from quadrupling his personality in order to please absolutely everyone. While the opinions of others are important, you can forget about adequate self-esteem or self-confidence.
• Secondly, there is no need to wait for praise. People don't believe in themselves because they are focused on receiving praise from others rather than finding their own happiness. The happiness of many depends on how many people evaluate them positively. Everything is very simple here: if you want to be admired or respected, say only good things about other people. Don't notice their shortcomings, failures or negative aspects. Say only good things about them. Then they will be ashamed to say bad things about you, since you only say good things about them. But while you depend on all this, you are not busy focusing on your own happiness, when you understand what you are capable of, which is where self-confidence comes from.
• Thirdly, other people's opinions are considered more important than one's own. A person does something, and they tell him: “Don’t!” A person plans something, and in response he hears: “Calm down! Live without it! We should not forget that others do not like it when other people’s successes are visible against their background. It’s good when everyone is equal, everyone is the same, there is no better or worse. If a person agrees not to stand out, then he dooms himself to the same life that those around him live. But we are often talking about unhappy, unsuccessful, poor people! Do you want to live like your surroundings? If not, then why do you listen to his opinion?

If you read carefully and thoughtfully, you may notice that we're talking about about one thing: you don’t need to listen to the opinions of others, but you need to live your life, focusing on your own opinion! You can believe in yourself when you are not faced with different opinions regarding your personality. You are one copy, but, according to others, you are constantly different: sometimes beautiful, sometimes not very attractive, sometimes smart, sometimes stupid, sometimes strong, sometimes weak. What kind of person are you? Why are you different according to other people? Every stranger looks at you from a position of their own benefit: everyone is manipulating, which is only possible due to a decrease in your self-esteem.

To believe in yourself, to gain adequate self-esteem and become self-confident, you need to look to yourself for answers to your questions. Like others, you may be wrong. But life itself will show you your mistakes! Only by the results obtained can you determine how good, smart and attractive you are. And the opinions of others will always be ambiguous, which is why your self-esteem will rise and fall, self-confidence will appear and disappear.

Another reason for lack of self-confidence is the scale of goals. I want to achieve the highest goals, and in the most short terms. All this only leads to failure and loss of self-confidence. What to do?

1. Break big goals into small ones and achieve them gradually.
2. Be patient, because everything takes time.

How to believe in yourself when you give up?

Over the years, all people accumulate failures, problems, fears and mistakes. All this helps in losing faith in oneself, which is why one gives up. Any, even insignificant events can lead to such a depressive and apathetic state: the departure of a loved one, criticism from others, problems at work, etc. In fact, all these are little things that are very easy to cope with. However, difficulties arise when a person begins to accumulate his experience of failures, disappointments, suffering and fears.

In order not to give up and continue to believe in yourself, you need to clear your consciousness of past emotions, grievances, fears and disappointments. In other words, you need to reconsider your desires, reassess the importance of certain phenomena, and also get rid of past emotions.

All this accumulates in a person. It's like a trash can that can fill up just by throwing a piece of paper into it. To prevent you from being overwhelmed with disappointment and grief, you need to empty your trash can. It should be empty so that any criticism or negative assessment “thrown at it” does not overflow the cup and turn it over.

All people face bad events in their lives. Everyone has a list of failures they have suffered along the way. However, people often consider their defeat to be a final loss, that is, they believe that the result has been achieved and there is no need to go further towards the goal. However, in fact, defeat is only an indicator that you have taken the wrong path that can lead you to what you want. And you just need to find the path that will lead you to your destination.

How not to turn your defeat into an even bigger loss? After all, in reality, only the person himself is to blame for the fact that some failure in life has become a complete failure. Several factors contribute to this:

1. Self-pity.

Defeat becomes the final loss because a person begins to feel sorry for himself. “I'm so unhappy. Why did this happen to me? While a person thinks this way, he is “marking time,” that is, he is not resolving the issue that has arisen, but is trying to find those at fault so that he can then demand “compensation for losses” from them.

1. Absence .

Only the person himself decides whether to be upset or happy about what happened to him. And if a person chooses the path of grief, then he prepares himself for the fact that his “journey” is over. He has already achieved a certain result, unlike an optimistic person who understands that he needs to change the tactics of his actions in order to still achieve his goal.

1. Repeating mistakes.

More than once a person is told to learn from his mistakes. And defeat is precisely the experience that shows what not to do in order not to fail again.

1. Lack of search for alternatives.

Many roads lead to the same goal. Just because you've reached a dead end or failed doesn't mean you can't take a different path to get what you want. But to do this you need to want to take a different path, which also depends on the person himself.

1. Reluctance to set new goals.

If you haven't achieved something, then set a new goal to achieve something else. The relationship with your previous partner did not work out, you have a chance to build a new alliance with the next person. You were fired from your job, so find another interesting job. You broke up with your best friend, you have the opportunity to find a new one best friend. If your previous goal failed, set a new goal that will bring you the same joy and benefit as the previous one.

How to believe in yourself and gain confidence?

In the pursuit of success, a person most often forgets about himself. “Who am I? What are my strengths and weaknesses? What do I use? How am I hurting myself? Am I happy in what I do and how I live? - these and many other questions you need to ask yourself.

The problem with self-confidence and self-belief is that a person becomes fixated on external circumstances, forgetting about his personality. You need to know and understand yourself well in order to realize what you are ready for and what you can achieve. Self-confidence arises not on the basis of external circumstances and achievements, but on the basis of knowing yourself - who you are and what you are capable of.

How to help a person believe in himself?

When creating relationships with other people, you often have to provide them with support. In order to help a person believe in himself, it is not physical support that is important, but moral support. How to properly support to help a person gain self-confidence?

1. You need to let the person know that you are always ready to help him. Your help will not consist in the fact that you will do all the work for him, but in the fact that you will help him.
2. Don't do a person's work for them. He must do it himself. You can only help with advice or real help as an assistant.
3. Do not compare a person even with the desire to show that he is the best. Don't run the comparison mechanism. It’s better to talk exclusively about the person himself.

How to believe in yourself and achieve success?

It is very difficult to move towards your goal when you don’t have faith in yourself. What to do in such a situation? It is important to combine all the factors that contribute to self-confidence and success:

• Set a goal that is achievable, realistic, and not fantastic.
• Take actions that promote success. It doesn’t hurt to draw up a plan for gradual progress towards the goal.
• Removing people from your environment who don’t believe in you or constantly criticize you prevents you from achieving your goal.
• When faced with failures, see the mistakes behind you and correct them.

Bottom line

It’s actually very easy to believe in yourself if you stop making events or the opinions of people around you significant. What matters is what kind of person you are, what you are capable of, what you sincerely want. Focus on your opinion, make your own decisions and act, do not be afraid of responsibility and the need to cope with problems. Then your self-confidence will increase.